Newly Revised Bucket List

In July 2009, I created my first ever "Bucket List." It's nearly a year and a half later and upon reviewing my list, I have learned that my life has dramatically changed in the last year and a half which means many of my aspirations have changed. I decided it is time to do some revising. Below you will find my new bucket list. To see my former bucket list, click on this link: http://elezpona.blogspot.com/2009_07_01_archive.html

It is not an incredibly different list; however, some of my goals have changed and are more specific. I have also decided some things are not things I want to do anymore.

Here is my new and improved Bucket List (in no particular order):

1. Go backpacking through Europe the summer after I graduate college and see the following countries: Portugal, Spain, France, Germany, Italy, Czech Republic, Greece, Netherlands, Denmark, Austria, United Kingdom, Iceland, Ireland, Sweden, Poland, Scotland, and Switzerland.

2. Graduate college.

3. Have a career that involves working with teens.

4. Study Abroad.

5. Go bungee jumping.

6. Get married.

7. Visit China.

8. Participate in the National Student Exchange.

9. Live in the moment.

10. Jump off a cliff into a body of water.

11. Live in Montana.

12. Adopt a retired greyhound.

13. Incorporate public speaking into my career.

14. Fly a plane.

15. Go zip lining.

16. Take a tropical cruise in the Caribbean.

17. Be a member of another Drill Team with my horse, Vogue.

18. Get a tattoo.

19. Develop a winter hobby.

20. Visit the Atlantis Hotel in the Bahama's.

21. Take a hot air balloon ride.

22. Go white water rafting.

23. Hike the Grand Canyon.

24. Go horseback riding in the surf of an ocean.

25. Stay passionate about the things I am involved with.

26. Go sky diving.

27. Make a difference in the lives of others.

28. Write a movie script.

29. Learn how to dance.

30. Visit the Amazon.

31. Be happy in the things I do.

32. See the Sahara Desert and tour Africa while I am there.

33. Live in a different country.

34. Scuba dive along the Great Barrier Reef.

35. Celebrate New Year's Eve in NYC.

36. Learn something new each year.

In the last year, I have learned many new things. But my favorite? Learning how important friends are and who my friends really are.

37. Attend a Super Bowl.

38. Kiss in the rain.

39. Own my own business - preferably a small animal boarding facility.

40. See as much of the world as possible. I hope to see Egypt, New Zealand, Australia, Guatemala, Fiji, Belize, Morocco, Madagascar, Peru, Chile, Costa Rica, Cabo San Lucas (Mexico), and Japan.

41. Train another horse from start to finish.

42. Have a small hobby farm with horses, goats, and chickens.

43. Design and build my own home one day.

44. Run a half marathon.

45. Get into the best shape of my life and stay that way.

46. See Nickelback, Lady Gaga, and Avril Lavigne in concert.

47. Go to a Packer game.

48. Graduate college with at least a 3.5 GPA.

49. See all 50 states.

50. Get my motorcycle license.

101 Stories

Not only do I blog myself, but I also enjoy reading blogs. I came across a very inspiring blog post that I think everyone should read. It came from the blog "Marc and Angel Hack Life." Read, cry, smile, and enjoy. It's 101 short stories that will make you think and give you a different perspective on your life as well as the lives of others.

Here's the link to the blog and the blogpost is dated December 27th, 2010.

http://www.marcandangel.com/

Top 20 Moments of Semester #1 at UW-La Crosse

The last three and a half months have been full of adventure. After starting life at a new school surrounded by new people, new professors, new experiences, and new opportunities, I've experienced a lot of "moments." I have compiled a list of moments which may be experiences, realizations, or accomplishments to sum up what my life has been like during my first semester at a new college.

Here we go:

1. Knowing that I would do things EXACTLY the same if given the chance to rewind to September of 2007 and start over.

2. Loving the fact that I only came in contact with 9 smokers while making my way around campus the entire semester.

3. Being taken out by a skateboarder--I broke my arm. Yes, skateboarding is the way to get around at UW-La Crosse. The sidewalks can be a scary place. Okay, I was kidding about the whole breaking my arm part.

4. Spending $101.25 on a calculator and realizing it was worth every penny.

5. Receiving a 94% on my third statistics exam.

6. Receiving a 99% on my fourth statistics exam, which was the highest in the class.

7. Passing my statistics class with not only an expected C, but an AB! If I put my mind to something, I can accomplish anything.

8. Deciding that I will have no career that has anything to do with statistics, despite the fact that I do actually know what I am doing.

(Side note: statistics was the biggest pain in my you-know-what all semester)

9. Being reminded once again that in life, there are no coincidences; I made an immeasurably beneficial resource on campus the second week of the semester.

10. Developing a highly effective and routine study schedule.

11. Being completely surprised by how different people can act two hours south of where I formerly went to school. That's right, people are not always that friendly.

12. Falling madly in love with The Rec.

13. Realizing I spend more time in the library than my own bed.

14. Deciding that I will not decide what I want to do with my life until I absolutely have to.

15. Getting offered an internship on the spot at a place I was applying to volunteer for.

16. Staring to volunteer every week doing something I love.

17. Having a person dressed as a gorilla and a person dressed as a banana run through my music lecture two days before Halloween.

18. Being asked to TA a class by my professor for next semester. UW-La Crosse started to feel like home for me that day.

19. Deciding that it is okay to not work as often as I would like.

20. Keeping the weight I lost over the summer off, yay me!

Despite many hardships over the past three and a half months, transferring has been the best decision I could have ever made. I am incredibly thankful for how much my life has fallen into place and how many opportunities I have had presented to me. I chose to focus on the more positive moments of the semester because when I look back, I do not want to think about all the struggles that I endured during this time in my life.

Give Thanks Everyday

Thanksgiving is the one day every year that people give thanks. They appreciate what they have rather than spend a day thinking of things they do not have. On this one day of every year we give thanks, we are grateful, and we appreciate the things we have.

Call me crazy, but why do we not do this every day? This summer, I added something to my daily routine. Every single night before I go to bed, I count three things I am thankful for. It could be something as simple as having a good day or getting a good grade on an exam. But...I would say 99 percent of the time, I am thankful for my family and friends. I can honestly say that this one part of my daily routine has made me a happier person. Instead of focusing on the things that I want that I think I need or how life could be better--I focus on the things I have and how great life is.

One of my favorite quotes is:

"The most important things in life are not things."

Here is what I am thankful for:

1. A God who loves me unconditionally no matter what.

2. A supportive, encouraging, and wonderful family: parents who will do anything for me, a brother who is passionate about life, and a niece who brings constant laughter to a room full of people.

3. Incredible, wonderful, amazing, beautiful, caring, thoughtful, and compassionate friends.

4. Two horses that are happy to see me no matter what type of mood I am in.

5. A safe place to call home.

6. My dog who always makes me smile.

7. College that is giving me not only a great education, but also sleep deprivation.

8. My health, mind, and body.

9. Living in a world that is surrounded by so much beauty.

10. My passions, talents, and hobbies.

Today, give thanks and be grateful. Let today be the first day of a new habit. Give thanks and be grateful everyday. Happy Thanksgiving!

Leave a Piece of You

Wouldn't it be amazing if every person we met we were able to leave a piece of "us" with them?

Think about it for just a second. How are you making personal connections with those whom you come in contact with? I am not talking about friends and families either.

I'm talking about strangers.

I'm talking about acquaintances.

I'm talking about the people you'll never see again in your life.

Have you ever met someone that impacted your like in a way in which you felt compelled to tell others about this person/experience? Maybe you had a really neat cashier who inspired your day. Or maybe someone you meet randomly shared a personal story with you. Perhaps, you interacted with a stranger who made you smile. Whatever the case may be, ask yourself this: How can you make yourself be the person that other people share stories about because you impacted their life?

Here is my point: 1) Strive to leave a piece of you with everyone you meet; 2) Never be afraid to make personal connections with strangers; 3) Be you, be real.

I had a really neat experience while I was waitressing one evening. The reason it stands out to me as much as it does is because one of my best friends, Jessica, told me that she absolutely loves how I am never afraid to make personal connections with people after I had told her the story. It was not until she gave me that compliment that I really started to appreciate this skill in myself.

It was a really busy Friday night and I had a table of 6 "older" people come in. My immediate reaction was, "Great, I'm going to work super hard for them and get a bad tip because older people are not good tippers." Once I greeted them and got them beverages, they told me they were celebrating a birthday and that I would need to bring them ice cream and a knife to cut their cake. All I could think at this point was, "Great, now they are going to sit for a while, take up my table, make me do extra work, and I'll still get a bad tip." Regardless of what was all going through my head, I put on a positive attitude and embraced what my job was, and that is: to be a good waitress no matter what or who I am dealing with.

As the night carried along, these people were absolutely fabulous customers. They were fun, wanted to know about me outside of being a waitress, laughed at my corny jokes, cracked jokes with me, and sincerely appreciated the work I was doing for them (which does not happen that often with this job). Once they began eating cake, I asked the lady celebrating her birthday if I could ask how old she was. She told me she was 93. I told her how amazing that was and told the entire table about a 12-year old girl who was tragically killed just days before. Half of the table was from the local area, half was from out of town and were shocked by the news of the story I had just shared with them. When I finished my story, I looked at the woman celebrating her birthday and said, "I view growing old as a privilege and I think it is amazing that you are out celebrating your 93rd birthday because it really is remarkable. Not everyone will be able to say they did that; no one knows if they will have the privilege of saying that." The entire table gasped at what I said and told me that I was "one special young lady." As I parted ways with this table who celebrated a wonderful birthday, they told me how I was a phenomenal waitress, mature for my age, that I would go far in life, and how I had made their birthday celebration that night extra special and one they would never forget.

This experience for me was unique and emotional and as the table was leaving, I found myself thinking, "I do not want them to leave, I wish they would stay the whole night so I could get to know them more." One of the ladies came up to me, gave me a big hug and thanked me again for making their celebration so special. This table made me love being a waitress and if everyone treated waitresses the way they treated me that night, I would not even want tips. They did leave me an incredibly large tip, but I would not have cared if they left me anything. That table felt like family to me. They left just as big of an impact on me as I had made on them. That night was no about making money to me, it was about impacting people and having people impact me.

Life is all about making not only an impression, but an impact. We should all strive to build these remarkable connections with people as we go throughout our daily lives. If we do this, we will have great days everyday, feel better about ourselves, and make a difference in the lives of those around us.

Working in Small Groups

In college, I have had the opportunity to work in groups. I think it is fair to say that I am not the only person who has had to do this. The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch has a short list of simple guidelines to follow when working in small groups. I found it useful, and I am sure that many others might find it useful as well.

1. Meet people properly

2. Find things you have in common

3. Try for optimal meeting conditions

4. Let everyone talk

5. Check egos at the door

6. Praise each other

7. Phrase alternatives as questions

It is a short and simple list. Hopefully many people begin to use it.

What I've Learned About Life in 22 Years

About three weeks ago, I celebrated my 22nd birthday. I have had a lot of life events occur recently that have made me realize that I have learned quite a bit about life in the last 22 years. In honor of my birthday, here is a list of 22 things I have learned. My list is slightly longer than 22 lessons, but these were my most favorite. Here is the list in no particular order. Except the first one definitely is my number one.

1. Life is better when your top priorities are: God, family, and friends.

2. Never regret. Chalk up all "mistakes" as a learning experience and be more careful next time.

3. Don't ever by afraid to start over. Embrace, cherish, and use your God-given talents.

4. "Love all, trust few, do wrong to no one." --Shakespeare

5. Be nice to everyone--always, no matter what. You never know what types of struggles or needs a person may have.

6. Don't complain. It only makes the situation that much worse and does not solve the problem.

7. Be early and show up to everything. This is your life.

8. People are capable of bad things; even people you know and trust.

9. Take risks and embrace the outcomes.

10. Every choice has a consequence--some positive, some negative. If it is negative, don't make the choice. Or, if you can't accept the consequence, don't make the choice.

11. People are going to let you down a lot in life. Don't be the one letting others down.

12. Life gets better. If you're young and reading this...trust me. It gets better.

13. Respect those who serve you.

14. When you find that one friend who knows ANYTHING and EVERYTHING about you and loves you anyways--hold onto them.

15. If you want friends, be a friend. Friendship is a two-way street.

16. Growing up is a privilege.

17. Don't give into peer pressure. You'll respect yourself a lot more later in life because you had the backbone to say "no."

18. If you don't want anyone to know...don't do it.

19. Asking for help is a sign of strength.

20. If a friend walks out when you've made a mistake they were not your friend to begin with.

21. Take care of yourself: get sleep, eat right, exercise, keep your mind and body healthy. We only have one shot at life. Live it healthy.

22. When we endure something tough, our character and self-esteem are strengthened.

Generosity in Small Portions Story #3

This last story I want to share took place two years ago during National FFA Convention during my year serving as a state FFA officer. Looking back, it is weird how the situation all turned out, but I will never forget how special an agricultural education instructor from Illinois made me feel.

This story has a somewhat awkward beginning. I was really upset with one of my teammates, and I think anyone who walked by could have observed some sort of confrontation happening. After my teammate walked away I was approached by a man who said, "You are quite the leader, you were not at all afraid to say what was on your mind." Immediately I was embarrassed by the fact that someone was observing the situation and tried to save face by explaining the scenario to the man. He simply raised his hand as if to silence me and then said, "So what kind of horses do you ride?" I was shocked and confused; I immediately asked him how he knew that I rode horses. He smiled and told me how horse riders always have a certain walk and stance and he can pick them out of any crowd.

We began to talk about where we were from, what brought us to National FFA Convention, and of course horses. Anyone who is willing to talk horses with me can hold my attention for any period of time. He ended the conversation by giving me his business card and told me to look at the back first. On the back of the card, it read: "Ask me about 'ROI' ... and the three A's." Of course, I asked him.

'ROI' stands for "rate of interest" and the three A's stand for "attitude, attitude, attitude." He told me how he begins each of his classes at the beginning of the quarter, semester, or year with a discussion about how he expects his students to continue to have a rate of interest in his classroom and that they better not ever have anything but a positive attitude in his classroom. That's a powerful message to students and I can imagine the bar is immediately set high in his classroom. He also told me how he never had someone guess what the A's stood for on the first try. This teacher had an impact on me in the ten minutes we conversed and made me feel special about the things I was saying about horses. He told me how horse people have such a good head on their shoulders and that they are the most patient people you will ever meet. At the time, I had intended to go into teaching and he told me that as long as I take my patience I have with my horses to the classroom and always have a positive attitude, I'll be very successful educating young minds.

Afterwards, he bought me lunch. If you've ever been to National FFA Convention, you know the the food prices inside Conseco Field House are very high. This act made his impact on me even larger. Who can forget a complete stranger who buys you lunch? I'll never forget our conversation and the continual compliments he provided me with. Looking back, I often wonder if he was just saying things to make me feel good about myself or if I really was the first person to guess what the three A's on the back of his card stood for. Then I think about how it is a valuable lesson for anyone to boost a person's confidence at any given moment; moments like that are precious and priceless--we should all strive to do this for someone each and every day. And you know what? He did make me feel good about myself.

His generosity was small. His impact was big. I will never forget this agricultural education teacher from Illinois.

Generosity in Small Portions Story #2

I have been working at a hotel as a housekeeper for the past five years. The job has always been very enjoyable because of my co-workers, hotel guests, and the fact that there is always cleaning to be done (which makes the day go by really fast). Every once in a while, something really great happens while I am at work.

In the summer of 2007, I met a hotel guest who was a driver for a bus company; his name was Glen. We chatted as I cleaned his room one day about my future, his future, my life, his life, his grandchildren, and his passion for life. Glen is an incredibly special man. He told me about how he survived not one, not two, but three severe heart attacks. The doctors never thought he would make it through his first bypass surgery, but he has made it through three. He told me about how the doctors considered him a living miracle. I got to know Glen pretty well over this four night stay and we talked about everything from the importance of having a strong faith, to loving animals, and making family and friends a priority in life. He truly lived each day as a gift it truly is and told me his reason for staying healthy was so he could be there to watch his grandson grow up. When we met, he had not had a heart attack in over three years.

Unfortunately, I was out of the town the day he was scheduled to leave. When I came into work two days later, there was a card in my locker where I keep my things. I opened it to find a thoughtful thank you from Glen. He thanked me for our conversations, told me how I am a great asset to the hotel, and how I was just another one of God's gifts he had found. He ended up leaving me with money to put towards school--something incredibly generous of him. His card was unexpected, thoughtful, and kind. Glen impacted me. He crosses my mind from time to time because of the person he is and the qualities he possesses. Glen taught me that we are all living miracles and to live each day like it is your last.

His generosity was small. His impact was big. I will never forget Glen.

Generosity in Small Portions Story #1

It has been quite a while since I last blogged which is embarrassing to admit. I randomly think of blog topics and write them down, but am yet to do any writing on these topics. One topic that I have numerous stories to share about is that of generosity in small portions. Over the next few days, weeks, and hopefully not months, I want to share these stories with you.

What I mean by "generosity in small portions" is:

What is one act the you have down for a person or a person has done for you that has been so small, but yet so big all at the same time?

I have been really lucky to experience this more than once in my life.

In September 2007, my life made a huge change. I was a freshmen in college at the University of Wisconsin-River Falls. Not only was I away from home, at a new school, starting a new phase in my life, but I also had a new job. Seems insignificant to all the other changes in my life, right? I spent the summer working at Wal-Mart close to home before I made my move into the dorms. Luckily, I was able transfer to a Wal-Mart close to school and work on the weekends. At the time, I was thankful to have a job immediately because it was going to save me the effort of searching along with hundreds of other students.

There has never been a job that I have despised as much as I despised this one in my life. This was definitely not even close to being my first job since I had been working at farms since I was in seventh grade. My co-workers were not friendly, I disliked the hours I worked, the job prevented me from going home on the weekends to see my family, and I felt that only 10% of the customers were nice (and no, I am not exaggerating). As a result, the days were long and the pay checks never felt worth it.

On my third weekend of working there, a lady came to my check out lane. She was purchasing a lot of snacks as well as my most favorite candy in the world: Milk Duds. I made a comment about how Milk Duds were my favorite candy. She then told me how her daughter had just started her freshmen year of college in Madison and asked if I was in school. I told her how I was in the same boat as her daughter and had just started myself. She explained to me how she missed her daughter and that she had planned to send her a care package because she was feeling homesick. We talked quite a bit about how I was feeling with college, being away from home, and how I missed my mom for nearly 10 minutes because I had no line of customers at the time. Once she left, I did not think much of the situation, other than the fact that I was thankful to have experienced a kind and caring customer that early in my day.

Nearly four hours later, the store was swamped with customers and it became quite the routine of greeting, sliding purchases across the scanner, and making change for customers. I looked up to greet the next customer in line during an hour rush and it was the woman I chatted with earlier. She was purchasing one box of Milk Duds and I joked and said, "Didn't you buy enough the first time through?" She simply smiled at me and said, "No" as she paid for her purchase. She grabbed the Milk Duds and handed them right back to me and said, "These are for you, I hope you enjoy them." I was so shocked by her act of generosity that I nearly started crying. She told me she appreciated our conversation earlier and could not stop thinking about me as her day carried on. All I could muster to say to her was, "Thank you, I cannot tell you how much it means to me that you did this."

Her generosity was small. Her impact was big. I will never forget what she did for me that day.

How To Save Money

Before I started college, I used to think being a college student would be the best thing to ever happen to me. While this is a very fun time in life, it is also one of the most stressful times as well. Why? Well...I will give you one word: money. College is expensive, living on your own is expensive, your car is expensive, your cell phone is expensive...okay, I think you get the idea. Life in the real world is expensive.

The expense of "life" after high school came to no surprise to me. In fact, I have been putting away money for school since I first got a job in seventh grade. I did not want to have to deal with debt from student loans, and I am hoping that upon my college graduation, I won't have nearly as many loans to pay back as most college graduates do. I will admit, between school, a cell phone, a car, two horses, and expensive taste in clothes...money is something that I feel I do not see a lot of at this time in my life. However, I have mastered a few simple tricks to saving money, and I am just hoping that in the end, I come out in the positives, rather than the negatives with money. Since they have been useful tips for me, I wanted to share them.

1. Save. Save. Save. I know it sounds obvious, but if you save more than you spend, it will only help you in the long run. If you are not in college yet, open up another bank account and put a certain amount of money away from every pay check...and forget it is even there. Even if it is only $10, it can add up fast.

2. Always pay in cash. I bring this up for two reasons. First, it helps with the mentality of "If I don't have the money now, I don't need it." Credit card bills add up ridiculously fast because it feels like you automatically have the money. In reality, you may not really have that money and will have to come up with it instead. But if you start paying in cash it will be more evident if you have the money for something right away or not. Second, with identity theft on the rise with each passing day, you keep yourself at low risk for having your credit card number being visible for all to see. Save your credit card for emergencies only. I am all for building a credit, but not building a debt.

3. Don't go out to eat. I read a statistic last week that stated 45% of money spent on food is from going out to eat. Even with fast food, you can easily spend $7 a meal. That's $35 a week and $140 a month. It adds up quickly. By packing a lunch every day for work or school, you can save a lot of money. I am not saying that you cannot go out to eat at all. Treat yourself in moderation.

4. Have a weekly "social" limit. Limit yourself to spending "x" amount of dollars each week for social activities. It costs a lot of money to go to the movies, go out for a night of fun, go out to eat, etc. If you limit yourself to $20 a week versus $20 a night, you'll save a lot in no time. It may be hard, but you'll appreciate your frugal-ness later in life. Find ways to entertain yourself that do not cost a lot of money, like enjoying public parks or reading books from the library.

5. Don't buy on impulse. Before I make a purchase, I always ask myself: "Do I REALLY need this?" If the answer is no, then I simply just don't buy it. This is an easy task for some, but for most of us, it is just plain hard. Along with going out to eat less, I am not saying don't spend money on yourself, but once again, do it in moderation.

These 5 things may or may not have been obvious tips for you. There are hundreds of ways out there to save money, but for me, these are 5 that make a larger impact on the budget. In the long run, I will be very thankful that I made a constant effort to not spend money each and every time I need to reach for my wallet.

No Expectations = No Disappointments

Recently, I have learned a profound life lesson and I learned it from two of my fellow co-workers. Last week, literally one day after the other I had one co-worker tell me something and the next day have another co-worker tell me the exact same thing. The funny thing is, each of these two conversations were not remotely similar. What is this profound life lesson? Well, I will tell you. In life, if you have no have expectations, you will never be disappointed. It almost seems quite brash, but I plan to tell you why I feel that this is a great concept to keep in mind and even live by.

Pick an area of your life, work, friends, families, relationships, hobbies, etc.

For now, I will pick work. I work at a hotel and every day when I am on my way to work I think to myself about what kind of day it will be...hard or easy. I usually base my predictions based off of things our head housekeeper or general manager will mention during the day about what tomorrow will be like. If I know that it is going to be a hard day, I do not expect an easy day because if I did, I would automatically set myself up to be disappointed if the day turns out to be tough. With a job like mine that is so physically demanding, it is important to never expect an easy day because then no disappointment will occur. In fact, I often expect every day to be hard because then any sort of amount of rooms seems easy. Plus, when it is a hard or long day, I get more hours which is always nice when the pay check comes.

This simple concept could be applied in many areas of our lives, and I could go on with many different examples. Next time you have an expectation of your job, of a friend, of a family member, of your day, of your work out, or of the weather...eliminate it. That way, when things do not go as expected, you will not be disappointed.

17 Again: Getting a Second Chance

It is crazy how much life can change in a year's time. It is crazy how much you can change your mind in just a short period of time. It is crazy just how fast time flies.

Last September, I was 100% certain that I had found my career path. I loved my classes, I loved my school, and I loved the town I was in. I was on my way to what seemed like the perfect life and perfect career. However, around mid October last year, that feeling of 100% certainty disappeared. I did not have a love for all of my classes. Luckily, I still loved my school and where I was located. After a long time spent debating what my next move should be, I decided to not only switch my major, but my school as well. Essentially, I am starting completely over because my previous major and new major are so different.

My life has taken quite a drastic turn in the last month. I went from being a college student who had a job that provided minimal hours allowing me to have tons of free time to moving back home. I now work 2 jobs and put in over 50 hours a week. My free time to do the things that mean the most to me like going to ride my horse, spending time with friends, reading, etc. came to a halt in a matter of a day once I began working. Even though I was not doing much with my time for nearly a whole semester, I loved my life and I was content...despite being at a "standstill" with my future.

I relocated to a very familiar place: home. While I have had this same schedule in the past, it is quite the change of lifestyle compared to the one I had, and it has been a struggle to balance work, friends, horses, family and "me" time.

It would be easy to say that I completely wasted nearly 3 years of my life doing something that was not right for me. When I stop and reminisce about the last 3 years of my life, I cannot feel anything except blessed. I have had experiences and opportunities that few people gain in a lifetime, I have truly grown as a person, and I have made the friends of a lifetime. If given the chance to go back 3 years and start over to what now feels like the "right" decision....well, I would not do it. There is no way I want to eliminate the people, experiences, opportunities, and memories from my mind because they have shaped me into the person I am and helped shaped my future. If I did have the opportunity to do things over I may not be where I am at in life now.

If you have ever seen the movie 17 Again, I feel exactly the way the main character does in the end of the movie (sorry if I spoiled the ending for you). Even though I was not given a second chance like he was, I can be content with the fact that I know I would have lived my life exactly the way I have even if I would have had a glimpse of my future. I am thankful for this peace of mind because it would be easy to feel like I just wasted the last 3 years of my life. However, I know that my life has turned out exactly that way it has needed to and that is perfect.

The Secret of Happiness

The above book is an absolutely fantastic read. I am not going to do my typical review like I have done of previous books that I read, but I will say that this book was an easy read and I had a hard time putting it down. It teaches a lot of valuable lessons about faith, Heaven, God, how to treat people, life, and how not to judge people based solely upon their past.

There was one part of the book that really jumped out at me and I wanted to share that little passage because I think it is very important. The book discusses the secret to happiness. I am going to share this with you because I think it is valuable no matter when you read it, but I encourage you to read this book to develop an even deeper appreciation of this secret we all strive to know. Remember this and live by this.

The Secret of Happiness:

"Be satisfied. Be grateful. For what you have.

For the love you receive. And for what God has given you."

-Have a Little Faith

Forgiveness

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” -Paul Boese

Forgiveness. Sometimes one of the hardest things to do in life is to forgive someone for something that they did that may have hurt you. Why is it that many people would rather hold something against a person for a very long time rather than just let go and avoid that extra stress in life? It has always confused me that people would rather hold a grudge than forgive someone and move on.

I have never been the type of person that can stay mad at a person for a long time, but I know that not everyone is this way. At some point in life, almost everyone holds a grudge against another person. Personally, I feel that every one's life would be less stressful if people would simply not hold grudges against another person. What bothers me the most about people not be willing to forgive? Let me tell you.

Well, first, I think that it affects relationships with others. For example, if a friend of yours is mad at someone (or holding some sort of grudge against another person), it often seems that your friend expects you to treat this person with little respect too. Now this grudge that you have against someone affects their relationships with others. Personally, I find this to be very immature of both the person who is unable to forgive and his or her friend. Why would people expect their friends to treat others poorly just because they cannot forgive another person? A person who makes a mistake does not deserve to lose other people as friends.

And second, I cannot understand why a person is willing to hold a grudge for so long. It is unhealthy. Think of a time you were really mad at someone. How long did you stay mad at them for? Are you even still friends with this person? Did your unwillingness to forgive a someone later affect your relationship with that person? Chances are, if you are still friends with someone you were really upset with for a long time, it affected your relationship and friendship and it was difficult to move forward after a "bump" in the road. Take a second to think about why you are mad. In three months from now, will it really matter? If the answer is no, forgive immediately.

I understand that people can have a hard time forgiving people when they are let down. Even the person you trust the most is going to let you down one time or another. People are not capable of doing the right thing all the time or keeping others happy with decisions they may make. Next time you find yourself mad at someone, holding a grudge, or being unwilling to forgive...take a step back from the situation. Try to understand why a person did what they did. Maybe there is a reason that may make you understand. Talk to the person and never make assumptions because that only makes a situation worse.

Forgiveness. It is a hard thing to do at times, but when we forgive others, we can move on and keep our relationships in our life healthy. When we forgive others, we are happier and less stressed. Forgive when it is hard, forgive when you do not understand, forgive before it is the last thing you can do, forgive because you know that it will not matter down the road. Do it for others and do it for yourself.

“Let us forgive each other - only then will we live in peace." - Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy

40 Days, 40 People, 40 Letters

I have been very anxious to finally be able to write about what I did for Lent this year. Usually, I do something to only benefit myself which results in me giving up chocolate and pop. This year I chose to do something much different. Lent is a time to spend improving the lives of others as well as our own which is why I decided to do something very different. For each of the 40 days of Lent, I wrote one letter a day to someone who has had a positive impact on my life.

40 people. 40 days. 40 letters. This is all it took for me to realize just how lucky and blessed I am.

While doing this, I learned a lot about myself and began to really appreciate the people in my life. These letters were sent to people whom I speak to on a daily basis, people whom I have not spoken to in years, people whom I have not known for very long, and people whom I have not spent more than two weeks with. I realized that I have been incredibly blessed to have these 40 individuals in my life as well as how I have truly become who I am today because they have been a part of my life. These 40 people are absolutely amazing.

Writing one letter a day was rewarding for me, and I learned how disciplined I can be when I truly want to do something. I think we should all strive to tell people in our lives just how much they mean to us on a regular basis because it makes people feel good. The things I have heard from people that I wrote to have been touching, and I did not know how positive a simple letter could turn out to be.

Do not ever miss an opportunity to tell those who mean the most to you just how much they mean to you. Your words, actions, and sincerity can go very far.

Talking Negatively About Others

Okay, admit it, you are guilty of talking about people behind their back. Honestly, who isn't? I would be a hypocrite to say that I never partake in such an activity, and I think we would all be lying to ourselves if we said we never spoke one negative thing about another person when they were not around.

Growing up, I tried to live by not saying anything about a person unless I was willing to say it to their face. Essentially, it makes perfect sense because if something negative that I may have said got back to the person I said it about, I can just stand my ground about what I said before if this person confronts me. However, I have found this to be an incredibly hard thing to live by because I am a person who likes to get things off my chest. And realistically, do I really need to tell a person that they upset me or annoyed me about something every time? Plus I think you all know the end result of this scenario. We lose a friend, we lose respect of that person, and more than likely, we probably lose respect from the person we said it to.

I think that gossip is one of the most hurtful things in the world which is why I feel so compelled to blog about this topic. The simple solution could be to just never talk about a person in a negative way. People are not going to go along with this. Maybe for you it can be as simple as what I mentioned above and not saying anything that you would not say to a person's face. Realistically, this is not that easy for everyone. If you still feel the need to talk about others in a negative way, consider these two things before you do it again.

First, if you really feel the need to talk bad about other people, why not do it only with the people that you know it will not extend any further? Have those one or two friends that you can talk to where you know that they will not tell another person. I think it is important to have people in your life you can have confidence in. This is a healthier option for everyone involved. You can get things off your chest and no one gets hurt in the process. Is this perfect? No, but it is better than running your mouth around anyone and everyone. Do not be a person that feels better by putting other people down. I will be honest, I think this is one of the most pathetic qualities anyone can have. Do not be a person that consistently talks negative about others. It is just not a positive way to live your life.

My second way of dealing with this is a little different. Do you ever take the time to think about why you do not like another person? Okay, do you have that reason in mind? Now, have you ever taken the time to try and understand why a person might act the way they do? Maybe someone always feels the need to control a situation and it absolutely drives you crazy whenever you have to work with that person. There is a possibility that this person may have had a life experience that you do not know about which is why they act controlling. It could be something so traumatic that as a result, they control things to mentally put themselves at ease. This may seem irrational, but how do you know that this is not the case? You never truly know what a person may have been through in life. Experiences shape us into the person we are, but some experiences are not worth sharing to just anyone.

My whole point with all of this is that we need to think twice before talking about others. It is hurtful to the victim if the things said get back to them through another source. It all comes down to what we are told when we are children: if you do not have anything nice to say, do not say it all. Our lives could be so much better if we live by this because I feel it holds a lot of value in today's world.

The Traveler's Gift

I recently completed yet another really good book. The Traveler's Gift, by Andy Andrews, is a very inspiration read. For the past two weeks, I have debated whether or not to write any sort of review for this book on my blog because it is that good and I did not want to risk giving any of it away by what I may choose to write. But I need to share this book because it is hands down, one of the best books I have ever read.

I read this book in three sittings; I simply could not put it down. This book is a page-turner and as I grew closer to the end of it, I found myself slowing down as I was reading it because I did not want it to end. This book uncovers seven decisions that determine personal success.

This book takes you on a journey with David, the main character, and immediately teaches you wisdom from past generations that you will feel compelled to put into action in your life immediately. The Traveler's Gift taught me many valuable lessons about embracing life and not becoming discouraged during times of struggle. What makes this book so great is how the author tells the story and provides the wisdom about personal success from past generations, which I will not give away...all I will say is that you need to read this book, it is phenomenal.

If you are not yet interested, here are a few of my most favorite quotes from the book, from nearly a two page list that I wrote down!

"I have deep within me the inability to do nothing."

"Passion is a product of the heart. Passion is what helps you when you have a great dream."

"Until a person takes responsibility for where he is, there is no basis for moving on. The bad news is that past was in your hands, but the good news is that the future, my friend, is also in your hands."

"We are all in situations of our own choosing. Our thinking creates a pathway to success or failure. By disclaiming responsibility for our present, we crush the prospect of an incredible future that might have been ours."

"You can change the future by changing your actions today. It is really a very simple process."

"We are always and forever influenced by those with whom we associate."

One Compliment A Day

One compliment a day. It may seem like a simple task, but what if that one compliment a day that you give...was given to yourself? Do you think you could still do it?

Last semester during finals week, I was having a heart to heart with a new friend, Kelsey, I made in one of my classes. We talked for quite a bit about a number of things. There was one thing that really stood out from our conversation. She told me I needed to "give yourself one compliment a day because you deserve it!" The way she said it to me was inspiring to me and she made me promise to do so.

One compliment a day? My first reaction in my head was, "Why?" But once I thought about it a little more, it made a lot of sense. Being able to compliment ourselves is a challenging task. It is often uncomfortable, we do not want to to seem arrogant by doing this, and we often face ourselves with the thought: "I do not deserve to be told that."

Well, let me be the first to correct you with that thought. You do deserve it! Everyone deserves to feel good about themselves. Everyone deserves to hear good things about themselves, even if it is coming from them. Everyone deserves to really feel self-confident. Self-confidence is beautiful. I can honestly tell you that if you do start to give yourself one compliment a day, you will begin to feel more self-confident in yourself. Make it a part of your daily routine in the morning. Look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself a compliment because you deserve it.

I came across a book one day while shopping at Barnes & Noble, Power Thoughts 365 Daily Affirmations by Louise Hay. I mention this book for two reasons. First, because if you do not want to give yourself a compliment, you could do a daily affirmation instead. Second, it is very uplifting to read what is in this book. Here are a few of my favorites below just so you can get an idea of all the good affirmations that this book is filled with.

#1: I choose to feel good about myself every day. Every morning I remind myself that I can make the choice to feel good. This is a new habit for me to cultivate.

#17: I have many dreams, and I know that I deserve to have these dreams come true.

# 65: I open my consciousness to all the wonderful possibilities of life.

#122: I constantly find new ways of looking at my world. I see beauty everywhere.

#177: I express my creativity openly and freely.

#210: I am now willing to see my own beauty and magnificence.

#257: My heart forgives and releases. Inner peace is my goal.

#273: I am independent, and do what I want to do. I try out new ideas. I am a leader today.

#316: I take the things I think are "wrong" about me and turn them into positive affirmations.

One compliment a day or one affirmation a day? The choice is yours. The results of how it makes you feel are endless. I challenge you to do this. And I also encourage you to pick up this book. Do this simple task of one compliment a day. You will not regret it.

How Full Is Your Bucket?

Today I finished reading the book, How Full Is Your Bucket? by Tom Rath and Donald Clifton. The authors of this book took an interesting take in the psychology world of what is right with people rather than what is wrong with them.

It was a great book and a person can easily sit down and read it in just a few hours. I highly recommend it. Plus, it is filled with useful resources and tests that you can use and do. It challenges you to be a better person as well as encourage others, even in the smallest and most subtle ways.

Here's the theory of a what our buckets are in a nutshell:

1. Each of us has an invisible bucket. It can be emptied or filled at all times.

2. We all have an invisible dipper. We can fill others buckets by saying or doing things that may increase their positive emotions. We fill our own bucket while doing this when we positively impact others. Or we can empty the buckets of others when we say or do negative things and ultimately empty our own bucket simultaneously.

3. Our daily choices affect whether or not we fill or empty our own bucket or the buckets of others. It is up to us to do actions that positively impact ourselves, others, and our relationships with those we care about, work with, or come in contact with.

The theory is simple and the book is filled with personal stories that clearly illustrate just how important it is that our bucket is full.

Studies have shown that negative emotions affect our health, and ultimately shorten our life span. The truth is: negativity kills.

We can reverse our negative thoughts and turn them into positive ones. Positive thoughts and emotions are essential for our survival and well being. If you choose not to read the book, at least choose to apply the theory in your own life. Every single interaction you do affects others. Will you make it positive or negative? How full is your bucket?

Personality Traits I Admire

I have always been a fan of friendship quotes. They always seem to "hit the nail on the head" whenever I read them. I recently came across one that I really liked, and I wanted to share it.

"Strangers are just friends waiting to happen."

When I first read this quote, all I could think about is how true it was. I often find it interesting to think back to the times before I became as close with my friends who I have now...you know, back when we were just strangers. Then I think to myself, "What exactly was it that they did that caused me to want to be friends with them?" Most of the time, the friendship results because we have similar interests. Other times, the friendship forms because I learn that these people who I know consider my good friends have qualities, or personality traits, that I have always admired in other people.

Selflessness - n. devoted to others' welfare or interest and not one's own.

I am lucky to have a lot of friends who put others before themself. I admire this quality so much because I feel it is a very important thing to not only know how to do, but to actually put it in action.

Tolerance - n. a fair, objective, and permissive attitude towards opinions and practices that differ from one's own

We have all met plenty of people throughout life that to be honest, we cannot stand to be around. For me, the people I cannot stand to be around are usually rude, arrogant, say things that are out of line, or lie consistently. They possess an energy that I just do not like to be around. However, I know I will continue to meet people that have qualities I do not like which is why it is so important to learn skills that help you tolerate them. Just because you may not like a person does not mean you have any right to disrespect them. Learn to tolerate others.

Genuine - adj. possessing the claimed or attribute character or quality; not counterfeit; real

I simply just love when a person is genuine. You know, the type of person that is 100% real in all that they do? They are real in their actions, body language, and the way they speak. There is no shades of grey with this person. I always feel the most comfortable around people who are genuine, which is why all of my friends truly have this quality.

Compassion - n. a feeling of deep sympathy or sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering

We all go through times in life where we struggle. Isn't it amazing how we have friends that help us through the tough times and want nothing but for us to be happy? Compassion is rare because I have discovered that so many people do not seem to care or have poor attitudes about things that do not directly affect them. This one is so important to me because it is my friends who I lean on during tough times. They are the people who I need to help make me feel better and see the positives in a negative situation.

Humbleness - adj. not proud or arrogant

Think about the most successful person you personally know, or at least someone who has been successful. Are the arrogant? Or do they act as though nothing is different when things change in their life? Unfortunately, I think being humble is rare thing we see in today's world. People often times let positions, titles, or opportunities go to their head. It is unfortunate. Do not be the person who lets fame or success go to your head.

Honesty - n. truthfulness, sincerity, frankness

I love when people are honest with me. It can be about anything, but there are two circumastances when I really admire honesty in my friends. First, is when they challenge me. For example, I think about times when I overreact. My friends are the ones who put me in my place and tell me I am acting ridiculous which prevents me from overreacting in the future. Secondly, I cannot stand when people lie to me, especially if I find out. It breaks my trust in that person. The best thing to do in life is to just be honest. Things are much easier that way.

Punishing Those Who We Need The Most

It has been a while since I have blogged mainly because I have not had a pressing topic on my mind lately. However, while listening to my iPod this past week, a particular song has come on more than once and it sparked a new topic. The song was "What Happens Tomorrow" by Duran Duran, which is a much older band. Part of the lyrics include: There are times we punish those who we need the most No, we can't wait for a savior Only got ourselves to blame for this behavior These words definitely got me thinking about how often it is that we punish those who we need the most. Think about the people in your life who you consider yourself to be the closest to—the ones you confide in, the ones who know everything about you, the ones that support you when times get rough. Now think about the times you are mad. Who are the people that you put up walls to? Who are the people you don't immediately tell what's bothering you? Who are the people that always know when something is wrong without you even saying anything because they know you so well? If you are anything like me, you probably answered the same person or few people for all of these questions. In a way, I see it as we "punish those who we need the most." Sometimes in life when I am struggling with something—whether it was a bad day, I am mad at someone, or I did poorly on an exam, for some odd reason I put up these invisible walls for the people I care about the most to break down. Believe me, I realize that this makes little sense at all. The logic would be for me to immediately confide in those people. But instead, I seem to punish these people by making them pry out of me what is wrong. Maybe it is because I need that reassurance that they really do care. Or maybe I just like to show my stubborn side every now and then. Perhaps there is really an underlying issue that I am covering up. There are a lot of reasons why I react this way or maybe other people react in a similar way. I bring this up because it is something I plan to work on. I have realized that this quality I have is one I want to get rid of. Why should I hide my emotions to those who care about me? The people who mean the most to us are not going to be upset because we wear our emotions on our sleeve—happiness, sadness, passion, excitement, disappointment, or anger. The people who care the most about us in life are not going to care what kind of mood we are. But they are going to do everything they can to fix it because they do not want to see any moment of unhappiness in our life.

Compliments: Good or Bad?

A few days ago, I was having a conversation with one of my friends. We ended up getting on the topics of compliments. I never really realized just how many different sides to compliments there could be. Some people love compliments, some people like to give them, some people hate to get them, and others love to get them. I have always looked at compliments as a positive thing because they make people feel good. And that is a good thing.

My friend mentioned that she never knows how to take a compliment. She says that sometimes she never knows if the person giving her the compliment is being sincere in what they are saying. She also mentioned that compliments from strangers mean more to her than when they come from someone she knows. At first, I did not see her logic in this, but after thinking about it, strangers usually pick up on things about you very quickly and compliment those attributes or qualities. It feels good to hear someone you do not know say something nice about you. I agree that it can be less awkward receiving a compliment from a stranger; however, how do you know if they are being sincere? After all, they are a stranger.

I, on the other hand, love compliments. I love getting compliments and I love giving compliments. They instantly boost my mood. I hope that they do the same for other people, so that is why I love giving them. After having our conversation, I started to wonder if people believed what I was saying when I gave them a compliment. What if people I have been giving compliments to have found them awkward to receive? Or worse, what if they did not believe me?

The biggest thing that I realized from the conversation is that many people do not know how to give sincere and genuine compliments. If we could know that people were being sincere every time they gave us a compliment , I think many people who do not like getting compliments would start to appreciate them more. From now on, do not ever give a compliment you do not mean. Be sincere in the things you say--they mean more. And that is important.

Why Effective People Are Effective

"The most effective people know who they are and why it matters."

The above quote is the one thing that Wisconsin FFA's Half-Time Conference guest speakers, Gena and Andrea, wanted the members to take away from their presentation. Their chosen topic hit home for me immediately and I thought, "I need to write a blog about this."

Why does it matter that we know who we are? Essentially, as you probably already guessed, it matters because you are a more effective person. It also matters because in my experience, people who know who they are have always been genuinely happy. And who does not want to be genuinely happy?

Take a moment and think about the most effective people you know in your life. Why are they effective? When I think about the people in my life who are effective, I consider them to be effective because they know who they are and why it matters. There is nothing better in life than having the confidence to know that you know who you are. When I think back to my late years of middle school and early years of high school, I cannot even come up with an answer to who I was because I did not know why it mattered.

Now I am a 21 year old college student. I know who I am. I know what I want to do with my life. I know who and what is important to me. I know what my values are. I surround myself with people I love and people who have a positive effect on me. I fill my life with things that keep me happy. I have the confidence to step away from something that I think is wrong or don't agree with. I have goals and ambitions. Life has its own battles at this age that you do not have to deal with when you are younger (like bills and grocery shopping), but the one thing that is very different for me is that I know who I am and why it matters. Knowing this allows me to be effective in the things I do.

By knowing all of these things, it allows me to not only be effective, but also to be happy with myself. It allows me to share my happiness with others; it allows me to be happy with my life. Knowing this creates a desire in me to help others know that things like this in life, which seems unattainable to some, are very possible. If you find yourself struggling to answer that question, "Who am I?" take a step back in life and surround yourself with the things that truly mean the most to you. Even if the things that truly mean the most to you are not the popular choice...who cares! Your personal happiness allows you to be an effective person which is something we should all aspire for and be proud of.

I'll leave you with one closing thought by the one and only Dr. Seuss: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

Up In The Air

Last week, I went to see the movie "Up In The Air." If you have not already gone to see this movie, go and see it. It illustrates a very different lifestyle that more than likely, very few people in our world probably live. It is about a man who has a job that requires extensive travel. He is hired by companies to fire people and flies around the country over 320 days a year. He literally has only the things he needs with him. These things do not include the relationships that many of us value and would struggle to live without. Can you imagine only having the things you need in your life to travel?

When the movie finished, I was faced with the questions: Can I live like that? Would I enjoy living like that? What "little things" would I take with me?

For the first question, I came to two conclusions, but settled on the second. I decided that I could live like that for basically the reason being that I do not like clutter in my life. I do not like it when my room is messy. I do not like it when my bathroom is dirty. I do not like having things I do not use laying around. Not being home, having my own bathroom, or not having useless things with me would eliminate those things I do not like. Then after thinking a little bit longer I realized that I could not live like that because seeing the people who mean the most to me is way more important. It would be neat to live this lifestyle for a few months, but in the long run, I would not enjoy it. It would be hard to come home to an empty apartment or feeling like I did not have a home. And more importantly, that people did not care about me.

As for the "little things" that I would take with me...well, the truth is, I do not have little things in my life that are that important. The things in my life that are important to me are big things like my parents, brothers, boyfriend, horses, and friends. I need those things surrounding me to keep me happy. I would struggle being away from them for extended periods of time. The little things are not that important to me, but the relationships I have in life are.

This movie made me realize how important relationships in life are. If you do not have relationships in life, what do you have to live for? To me, it would be a life of loneliness. Even though I love my "me" time, this lifestyle would more than likely drive me to insanity. What do you think of this lifestyle? Why do you think it is that some people can live a lifestyle like this? I walked out of the movie feeling thankful that I have the relationships in my life that I do.

Encouragement Goes A Long Way

Last year, there was one piece of advice I was given more than enough times to count. Sometimes it came from the same person. Other times it was from random people in random conversations. It is one of those pieces of advice you get when you are not asking for it, not expecting it, and do not realize you are even getting it. It was not until it popped up in a few random conversations in the exact same wording that I started to really take it to heart. So what is this piece of advice? It consists of the few shorts words of "encouragement goes a long way."

I bring this up now for 2 reasons.

First, it is at the beginning of a new year. That means that you are more than likely surrounded by many people who are working on living out new year's resolutions. Encourage them. Show them that you support them in their aspirations to become a better person. Whether they are doing something easy or hard (in your perspective)--encourage them. You will be surprised at just how far that encouragement can go.

Second, I feel it is a great thing to do in life. Why? Because it is true. I think about the times in my life when people have truly encouraged me to do things. That encouragement has taken me a long way. I am living proof that it works wonders on a person. Also, I have encouraged others and seen it work wonders on these people. It is a great habit to add to the relationships you have with others.

Try it. You'll be amazed at how much good you can do with something as simple as encouragement.

New Year's Resolutions

The new year has officially begun, and I have some new year's resolutions. Quite a few in fact. I usually keep my resolutions private and in the past have noticed that I have not been successful with them because of it. I wanted to write them down and publicize them in hopes that it will help me actually do them. Here they are in no particular order.

Emily's New Year's Resolutions

1. Work out regularly (4-5+ times a week)
2. Eat healthier
3. Spend less money and save more
4. Go riding more
5. Blog more (3-4 times a month)
6. Spend more time with family and friends
7. Read at least 1 book a month (preferably 2)

I will admit, I am not off to the greatest start right now in every area, but I haven't made out a plan for each one yet either. If I don't succeed right away, I am not going to look at it as failing. I will see it as a way to stop and reevaluate what I am doing so I can be successful with each resolution. My real hope in this is that each one will create a new habit in me and in the future it will all be a part of my daily routine.