Ever since I graduated in May, my life has drastically changed on many levels. To some people, it may not seem like it’s drastically changed; but to me, nothing feels remotely the same as it did while I was still in school. I have considered these past three months of time a period of “rediscovery” in my life. I am doing lots of things I have not done in years and finally feeling freedom as to how I spend my time. It is quite the liberating feeling for me and one that I don’t think I’ve experienced for quite a few years.
Amongst this period of rediscovery, I am faced with dreaded questions from friends, family, acquaintances, etc. such as:
1. What’s next, Emily? (read on)
2. Now what are you doing? (keep reading)
3. Are you going to continue with school? (yes, at some point)
4. You can’t really make money with a psychology degree alone can you? (yes you can, but I may not earn an acceptable income from your perspective)
5. What are you doing with your life? (continue to read on)
In this perhaps far-too-long-winded blog post, I hope to answer all of these questions. I don’t plan to elaborate on question #4 beyond what’s currently after it.
For those of you who don’t currently know what I’m doing with my time (if I don’t see/chat with you often), here’s what I’ve been up to. I’m waitressing 5 days a week. During my time off, you can find me in my barn spending time with my horses, going horseback riding, sleeping, giving my cousin riding lessons, reading, hanging out with friends, taking tons of pictures, or just simply being outside hiking, biking, taking a walk, or kayaking. I have always been someone who has needed a lot of sleep, so that takes up quite a bit of my time. And let me tell you—it is wonderful. But I realize if you are reading this, you do not care about my sleep schedule. However, I would be lying if I did not tell you it consumed a lot my time.
Waitressing is making me feel like I am losing my mind. I started waitressing when I moved back to La Crosse over 3 years ago, but I have not had to do it consistently 5 days a week for a very long period of time due to some of my life endeavors. Well, now I find myself spending way too much time doing it. I do not want to “hate” on my job because I know it will provide me with the financial necessity that is essential to pursuing my dreams. But seriously, I feel like I am losing my mind. Memory peaks in our early 20’s and it is all downhill after 25. That is a fact, I did not just make that up. As a customer told me the other day, I have “Young Timers” which is soon to be followed by “Old Timers” and finally “Alzheimer’s.” Not an encouraging thought, but I cannot seem to remember anything anymore. I feel so disorganized in my personal life and work life. When I go into the waitress station I find myself thinking twice as to why I came in there in the first place. Was I getting food for a table? Was a grabbing a check? Did someone need a salad? Am I supposed to be putting in an order? Was I grabbing a refill? Did someone need a side of ranch? You get the idea. Clearly I do not desire to feel like I am losing my mind so I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what my next move is in life. This feeling of helplessness has created a motivation within me I have never felt before.
The past three months I have realized that I need to
So, what are you doing next, Emily?
Ah, yes, thank you. This is a question I like and this is a question I will eagerly answer for you. I have decided that since I do not know what I want to do with my life, I am going to take some time to travel and work in different places before really putting my heart and soul into pursuing a master’s degree. I changed my major 5 times as an undergraduate. That’s right, 5 different times. Right now there are 6 programs that spark my interest to continue my education. I am not in any way ready to commit to one of those 6 interests. And, last time I checked, you do not change your mind with a master’s degree. You are in it for the long haul.
Facebook is simultaneously a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because it keeps you connected to people. It is a curse because it makes you feel like you are behind in life. It seems like not a week goes by where a friend does not get engaged, is accepted into school to further his or her education, a couple announces a pregnancy or gets married. The thing is everyone has a different way of living their life and what order they want to do things. I personally want to postpone becoming an adult as long as possible. Oh wait, I have been an adult for 6 years. Well, maybe I just want to postpone things such as school and a career because I think I am finally just getting a grip on how to have fun and live my life. Working 5 days a week for 40 hours in a career I might not like my entire life does not sound appealing to me. So for now, I am choosing to defer that aspect of my life.
My first venture will hopefully begin next summer. I have wanted to work on a dude ranch out West since I have been in high school. I have seen many friends go and do this because I sparked their interest in it. But I am yet to do it! Since I am not ready to settle down professionally, I am going to take advantage of the things I have wanted to do, but have not gotten a chance to. After that I plan to do some working abroad opportunities. I know of a fantastic program that places people in Australia for 6 months and I know of another job in Scotland that makes my heart leap. I am not sure what order everything will happen in. I have no idea if I will change my mind about any of these things. But for those of you who have been wondering, I hope this blog answered your questions and made you laugh a little bit. For those of you who have asked me about my future, well…I cannot thank you enough. Although that question of “what I’m doing with my life” is a pain in my rear end, it also fuels my fire to be able to answer it.
After I am done with these experiences I will think about focusing more on settling down and continuing my education. Right now, those things are not on my radar. Seeing the world, experiencing life, and living out my passions are my main focus.
