Finding Meaning

I have a confession: I read a particular blog religiously. This blog can also become a religious obsession for you if you so choose. Click on the following link and be prepared for your life to change: http://www.marcandangel.com/. Ok, seriously, this blog has changed my life and it continues to change my life every Monday.

A few weeks ago, the writers of this blog provided me with a long list of questions that I think everyone should answer. The blog post is entitled "95 Questions to Help You Find Meaning and Happiness." It can be found here: http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/04/95-questions-to-help-you-find-meaning-and-happiness/.

I spent a good two weeks answering these questions. Here's some that I want to share with you that I essentially do not mind the world having access to. The rest are answered and in my personal journal for me to look back and reflect on.

1. In one sentence, who are you? I am Emily; I have a deep passion for life and care a lot about the people in my life.
2. Why do you matter? I matter because there are a lot of people in my life who care about me and need me in my life as much as I need them in my life.
3. What is your life motto? “Love is the only reality”
4. What’s something you have that everyone wants? Happiness

8. What stands between you and happiness? Right now, nothing or nobody.

10. What does the child inside you long for? The uncomplicatedness of relationships when I was a child; I wish they were still the same way.
11. What is one thing right now that you are totally sure of? That I am about to embark on an incredible trip of self-discovery to New Zealand.
12. What’s been bothering you lately? Betrayals, empty promises, and broken dreams

15. What will you never give up on? My family, friends, and horses
16. What do you want to remember forever? Summer 2011

24. What is something you’ve always wanted, but don’t yet have? My own dog, a Greater Swiss Mountain Dog to be exact. Seriously, I think I have wanted one of these dogs since I was 12.

29. What will you never do? Be unfaithful

31. What’s something new you recently learned about yourself? What’s essential to my happiness and what I want out of this life.

39. In one word, how would you describe your personality? Unique
40. What never fails to frustrate you? People

44. What’s something a lot of people do that you disagree with? Making up rumors about other people.

47. What are the top three qualities you look for in a friend? Trustworthiness, Honesty, and Compassion

60. What’s something you disliked when you were younger that you truly enjoy today? Close call between cleaning and cheeseburgers!

66. What’s something you should always be careful with? Trust
67. What should always be taken seriously? Driving and/or any type of commuting
68. What should never be taken seriously? Life…as the quote says… “no one gets out alive anyway”

90. What’s something simple that makes you smile? A sunset

Defining Family

In my Interpersonal Communication class, we spent most of class yesterday defining family. The discussion was thought provoking, and it made me think about how I would define family and who I consider to be my family. We broke up into groups and each group had to come up with a definition for family. Each one was very different, yet they all ended up being similar in unique ways.

I wanted to share them because it was a powerful lecture. If you haven't realized it yet, family is the only thing we are guaranteed in this life. I do not are how old you are, you should cherish your family and make time for them.

Here are the different definitions my classmates came up with:

"The involvement between two or more people who share an unconditional love type relationship and are willing to sacrifice..."

"...at least two people who share an intimate bond where mutual sacrifices shape who we are within the family"

"Unconditionally your own and is unrestricted through blood line..."

"A structural unit comprised of two or more people who feel a sense of permanent belonging towards one another"

"A collection of at least two people who share blood and they form a family who share similar definitions of what a family is"

"A reciprocal support system; two or more people who express compassion and unconditional love to each other"

Does anyone have any guesses as to which one is mine?

What I'll Miss About Home

I recently found out this past week that I am going to be studying abroad starting in February. In the last year, I have realized how beautiful my home area is and how much I love living here. Currently, I'm beyond excited to be living in a different country for nearly five months; however, I am quickly realizing all the little things that I am surrounded by that I will miss. Here's a list to capture these small moments, routines, and things I have admittedly taken for granted.

1. The luxury of taking care of my horses on a daily basis and seeing them in my backyard whenever I want.

2. Morning chats with my mom over breakfast.


3. Daily motivational texts from my friend, McKenzie.

4. My commute to and from school: the view of the bluffs and the view as I turn onto my road.

5. My dog: her morning wake-up calls, our wrestling matches, and being able to spoil her with attention, love, and treats everyday.


6. My job. I'm going to miss working a lot while I'm gone. I'll also miss my co-workers and the regular customers who have began to feel like family to me.

7. My own personal living space. I know I'm spoiled and I will miss my bed and my bathroom...and as a whole, I'll miss my home

8. Seeing my friends and family whenever I want.

9. The nightlife downtown.

10. Hearing my little brothers hunting stories, ideas, and his day.

11. The way my dad helps me keep life in perspective and to not sweat the small stuff.

I love my life, but I am ready for this adventure, experience, and opportunity of a lifetime.

Attribution Theory: Our Perceptions of Ourselves and Others

I absolutely love my interpersonal communications course I am taking this semester. Last week, we talked about perceptions. It was a very interesting topic that literally had me on the edge of my seat. More specifically, we indepthly discussed: Attribution Theory.

Attributions are our own subjective explanations for our own or others' behaviors. We make attributions, or assumptions, about the behaviors of people, or the reason behind a person's behavior. Ultimately, the attributions we make about others influence how we react to others.

There are two types of attributions:

1. External-attribute the cause of the behavior to the situation
2. Internal-attribute the cause of the behavior to the person

There are a number of common attribution errors we make about others.

Here are a few of the common errors:

1. Ultimate Attribution Error-we tend to make internal attributions of others' negative behavior and external attributions of others' positive behavior

We assume that a person is a bad driver because he or she pulled out in front of you. However, maybe that person pulled out in front of you because his wife is in labor or a family member was just rushed to the hospital. Or maybe our friend received a job promotion. Rather than considering his or her extra effort, we assume that it is because no one else applied for the position.

2. Self-Serving Bias-we tend to make external attributions of our negative behavior and internal of our positive behavior

We didn't do well on our exam because we had other things going on, when in reality we maybe did not spend enough time adequately preparing. However, when we do well on an exam it is because we attended class regularly and studied a lot.

3. Similarity Bias-we provide more favorable attributions toward in-groups than out-groups

It is typical to give a person the benefit of the doubt when we feel they are similar to us, or they are in our "in-group." If someone is late for lunch in our in-group, we forgive them immediately or assume they were stuck in traffic. However, if someone from our out-group is late for lunch, we assume they are lazy or disorganized.

4. Positivity Bias-we tend to make more positive than negative judgements about others when we have the chance to interact with them

Once we become friends with a person, we make positive excuses for them. This is similar to Error #3. If a friend does not call us when they say they are going to call, we assume they got caught up with others things and they forgot rather than that they did not want to chat with us.

For the rest of our lives, we will make attributions about others. If we actively keep this theory in mind, it can improve our relationships with others and help us let the small stuff roll of our backs.

How do we do this? With perception checking. Next time you assume a friend is mad at you for example, approach the situation differently by doing these three things:

1. Behavioral description-explain what it is that person is doing
2. 2 possible attributions-2 ways to interpret the behavior
3. Request for clarification

"I've noticed you've been really quiet lately. I am thinking that you are either stressed out or you are mad at me. Can you help me understand your quietness better?"

This approach will prevent a person from becoming defensive to your assumptions and will allow for a smoother and calm transition into the real issue.

One Reason to be Happy

Earlier today I was outside doing some yard work. I saw one of my neighbor's kids whom I used to babysit for. I said hello and asked him how he was doing and how school was. He told me "good" to both questions which is of course the typical response for a 7-year old boy. Then he said, "The only reason I am happy today is because I get to drive my dirt bike later." I automatically assumed it was because of the gorgeous weather that he was able to drive it on this particular day. Although I quickly learned it was because a part for it that was missing had arrived in the mail.

I immediately wanted to tell him that he had more than one reason to be happy today, but in the life of a child, happiness comes from fun. It does not come from little moments, nice weather, or fall colors like it does once we become older and understand the concept of appreciating the small things in life. I decided to smile at the fact that he had one reason to be happy. The above conversation was short, but it made me think about how we all have one reason to be happy each day. Even if there is only one reason, that's what is important.

So I would like to know, what is your only reason to be happy today? Now go focus on that and be happy.

Quotes I Love #2

"If you ever want to enjoy the rainbow, be prepared to endure the storm."
-Warren Wiersbe

"This could be such a beautiful world if we could all care just a little more."
-Rosalind Welcher

"To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe."
-Anatole France

"And in the end it's not the years in a life, it's the life in years."
-Abraham Lincoln

"First we make our habits, then ours habits make us."
-Charles C. Noble

"Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it."
-Dwight D. Eisenhower

"Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness, and just be happy."
-Guillaume Apollonaire

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck."
-Dalai Lama

"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it."
-Confucius

"Actions speak louder than words but not nearly as often."
-Mark Twain

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."
-Mother Theresa

"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing."
-Walt Disney

"Your regrets aren't what you did, but what you didn't do. So I take every opportunity."
-Cameron Diaz

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
-J.K. Rowling

"The kind of beauty I want is the hard-to-get kind that comes from within--strength, courage, dignity."
-Ruby Dee

"My theory is that if you look confident, you can pull off anything--even if you have no clue what you are doing."
-Jessica Alba

"Often you just have to rely on your intuition."
-Bill Gates

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."
-Anonymous

"The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity."
-Zig Ziglar

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."
-Victor Frankl

Forming Impressions

This semester I am taking an Interpersonal Communication course. Based off of my first day of class, I am confident when I say it will more than likely be my favorite course of the semester. My professor for the course began the first day of class in much different way compared to the usual: "Hi, my name is..., let's take attendance, here's the syllabus, ok...see ya next class! routine."

Nope, this first day was unlike any other. My professor did something that I consider to be very out of the ordinary for the first day of class. She did politely introduced herself; however, after that she immediately instructed us to get into groups of four and come up with a list of words and ways that we would use to describe her. She specifically wanted us to put down personality traits, teaching style, hobbies, and anything else we saw fit in describing her.

After my group members introduced ourselves to each other, we began creating a list. I couldn't help but wonder that this particular exercise was about how quickly a person forms opinions about another person. We had about 5 minutes to create a list, then my professor made a massive list on the board before erasing all of the things that did not fit her. We were left with an idea of who she is as a person, what she likes to do, and how she chooses to teach.

She concluded by telling us that the moment we meet a person, we begin forming impressions about them without even realizing it. What was funny about that comment was that I was thinking the same exact thing as she sad it. I was surprised that it was not something I had ever thought about on my own. I'll admit, I am a judgemental person; however, I give every person more than one chance to make a positive impression on me so they have an opportunity to remove themselves from the category I automatically placed them in.

I found this whole concept to be rather interesting. I'm anxious to see how the semester unfolds and to see what type of an impression this particular professor makes on me the second, third, and fourth class periods because I have a feeling it will change. If she teaches in an interactive manner like she did on the very first day, I know this will be a truly enjoyable class for me.

Take a moment to think about this. What type of impression do you leave on those you meet? How quickly do you form impressions about others? Are the impressions you form positive, negative, or both? What can you do to ensure that you are consistently making a positive first impression?

Top 10 Moments of my First Day: Fall 2011

Today was my first day back on campus at UW-L. It was a bittersweet feeling returning to classes because I've had an incredible summer and am not quite ready for it to officially end. Luckily for me, my day was filled with moments that made me embrace my day. I think that this has been my best first day of any semester thus far. Below I have recapped my "top 10" moments of my day:

1. Finding a good parking spot. I commute to school and have to deal with parking every day, but today it was super easy.

2. Seeing a familiar face the second I walked on campus. It may not seem like that big of deal, but as I was making my way towards campus this morning I couldn't help but think back to that same moment last fall. That fall I was lonely and didn't have many friends because I was a transfer student and new to UW-L. Today, I literally reached the first block of campus and saw a familiar face. That continued all day which means UW-L feels like home to me even more than it did last semester.

3. Having my first class in the new building. For the last year, I watched as construction workers put in countless hours of work into a new classroom building. All I can say is that they did a fantastic job!

4. Beautiful weather. I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day to enjoy as I walked from class to class.

5. No statistics class! A year ago today I got to begin each of my days with a statistics class. Math is my least favorite topic so it was wonderful to not have to return to that same classroom this fall.

6. Lunch hour. I got into a little bit of trouble on my lunch hour. I met my friend, Ben, for lunch at my favorite bar. This of course was not the smartest idea, but now I can say that I did two shots in between my classes, and it was fun!

7. Riverside Park. After lunch, I was able to spend an hour walking around beautiful Riverside Park. I developed an even deeper appreciation for where I live and how gorgeous it is.

8. Mary Kay makeover with Kailin. My good friend, Kailin, and I went and got Mary Kay makeovers before my last class of the day. It was fun to be pampered and enjoy time with an amazing person.

9. Getting out of my 3 hour night class 2 hours early. This one is self-explanatory.

10. Feeling ready to take on the semester. This semester is going to more than likely be my most challenging semester yet. Not only are my classes going to be hard, but they are also going to be time consuming. I'm confident that I can find the balance I need to find between school, studying, work, my horses, sleep, and friends.

Who is your Susie?

The following is a heart-warming and inspiring story I received in an email.

Come with me to a third grade classroom...

There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of the sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives.

The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer, 'Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat.'

He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered.

As the teacher is walking toward him, a class mate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap.

The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, 'Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!'

Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful. But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Susie.

She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. 'You've done enough, you klutz!'

Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, 'You did that on purpose, didn't you?' Susie whispers back, 'I wet my pants once too.'

May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do good.

Quotes I Love #1

I've always been a big quote fanatic. There's just something about words that I find powerful. When they are combined to create a quote they become inspirational to me or relevant to my life. The quote could be on friendship, disappointment, love, life, relationships, or happiness. No matter what type of quote I read, I just love them. My obsession with quotes has grown since I created my own Twitter account 2 years ago because I am able to be positively influenced all day by various Twitter accounts that I follow. I keep a quote book in my room of every quote that has had an impact on me--my collection of quotes has greatly expanded as of lately. My quotes do not just come from Twitter; they also come from plays, movies, and music lyrics. The following quotes are not by any means my most favorite, but they are ones that have really impacted my perspective that I have on various topics as well as my life.

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."
-Winston Churchill

"Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher."
-Oprah Winfrey

"When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion."
-Abe Lincoln

"True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be."
-Unknown

"Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose."
-Evan Esar

"If you let things change, they often change for the worse. If you make things change, they often change for the better."
-Unknown

"Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure."
-Oprah Winfrey

"You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him."
-Leo Aikman

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
-Robert Frost

"It's our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."
-Albus Dumbledore

"Love is the intense desire to be intensely desired."
-Robert Frost

"Your dreams live in a land far, far away from your comfort zone."
-Josh Shipp

"It does not matter how slow you go as long as you do not stop."
-Confucius

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
-Carl Jung

"As I grow to understand life less and less, I learn to love it more and more."
-Jules Renard

"What is the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable?"
-John Greene

"When things go wrong, don't go with them."
-Elvis Presley

"Real loss only occurs when you lose something you love more than yourself."
-Unknown

"The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing."
-Stephen Covey

"Life is not a having and getting, but a being and a becoming."
-Myrna Loy

This blog is the first of many blogs in which I will display quotes I love for others to enjoy and find meaning in. If you have a powerful quote, please share it with me.

Personality Traits I Admire Version 2

Nearly a year and a half ago, I wrote a blog post about personality traits I admire. You can read that blog post here: http://elezpona.blogspot.com/2010/02/personality-traits-i-admire.html. I've been meaning to write a similar blog post for many months now, but have been unable to come up with the perfect list of personality traits. Plus, my top 6 were already chosen, which made choosing an additional 6 somewhat challenging. I have been able to narrow it down to 6 traits; I feel they really are appropriate for this stage of my life that I am at. These 6 qualities are ones that draw me to new people and have helped me form new and amazing friendships.

Hardworking - adj. characterized by hard work and perseverance

I've always admired those who have a work ethic. I've also always admired those who go above and beyond in their jobs. It appears to me that with every passing generation, a hardworking person is hard to find. When I meet people who are hardworking, I am automatically drawn to them. Who is a hardworking person that you know? Why do you classify them as hardworking?

Positivity - n. the state or character of being positive: a positivity that accepts the world as it is

I'll be the first to admit that I am not a naturally positive person. For this reason, I am fascinated by people who are positive all the time. Sometimes I find it to be flat out exhausting to be around people who are this way, but ultimately, it is inspiring to me. For example, one of my best friends, McKenzie, is ALWAYS positive. She has a natural ability to always see the glass as half full. During conversations we have together, I flat out tell her I cannot believe how positive she is. Even with things she should be upset about, she still has a way to see things in a positive light. It is so inspiring to me, and it is something I personally aspire for. I don't think I will ever naturally be this way, but day by day, I am finding ways to look at different aspects of my life positively. Positive people are fun to be around, which is why I admire this personality trait.

Faith - n. belief in God

This trait is self-explanatory. People who have a strong faith in God are the most happiest people I have ever met. I lean on these people to push me with my faith so my faith continues to grow. This is one area of my life that has grown tremendously over the past year a half. People who are open about their relationship with God inspire me to continue on my journey with God. I wish this quality was not becoming rare in today's world.

Spontaneity - n. the state, quality, or fact of being spontaneous

Being spontaneous. I feel so many people want to be spontaneous, but few are. I try my hardest to live in the moment and not get caught up in how much things are going to cost or what I have to do the next day and simply just live! I've become surprisingly much more spontaneous in the last 6 months in my life and since then, life has become more of an adventure and I absolutely love that. Do something you wouldn't normally do, and live life with no regrets. My only advice on this one is to be sure and think about potential consequences of your choices. What are some of the most spontaneous things you've done lately in your life?

Carefree - adj. without anxiety or worry

I love people who are carefree, it's a breath of fresh air to me. Try not to worry. If you're worried about the world coming to an end, remember it is already tomorrow in Australia.

Open-Minded - adj. having or showing a mind receptive to new ideas or arguments

The opposite of this is being opinionated. I honestly cannot stand opinionated people because they come off as uneducated. I respect people who have their opinions and are not afraid to share them, but be a little more sensitive to the fact that everyone is not just like you or does not think just like you. Being open-minded provides an opportunity to learn and have a less heated conversation. The world is forever changing in lifestyles. Have respect for those you are different than you by being open-minded. If there is one thing I do have an opinion about, it is being open-minded.

Privileges of Being a Friend

Have you ever taken a moment to stop and think about how being a friend is an important responsibility? Over the last year of my life, I have gained some exceptional friends and maintained friendships because I decided to transfer to a new college. I have come to the conclusion that being a friend is no easy task. I have also come to the conclusion that being a friend to someone is a privilege. I've reached a point in my life where I have learned the true value of friendship and who I not only need in my life, but also who I want in my life.

Let's face it: being a friend is a lot of work. You never know what you may have to do for a person you care about. You not only have to do easy things like exchange text messages, pay for a meal, or spend a day at the beach together, but you also have to do hard things like help them through a tough time, pick them up in the middle of the night so they get home safely, or see them at their worst. This is clearly not an all inclusive list because I haven't even touched on giving advice, calling them out when their wrong, or telling something they may not want to hear.

I'm truly blessed. I have incredible friends who understand and love me. They know my flaws and choose to overlook them because they know everyone has flaws. My friends know and keep my deep, dark secrets and bend over backwards to help me when I'm struggling. They also know how to make me laugh and teach me things that I didn't even know I needed to be taught. My friends make me a better friend, and I could not feel more blessed than I do.

To me, these are the privileges I've had while being a friend. Ultimately, these are the same standards I hold my friends to which is why they are my friends because they fulfill these privileges.

1. Having fun together in a way that only myself and that other person understand

2. Being there for a friend no matter what the circumstance

3. Making them a better person

4. Donating my bed to a friend for the night

5. Understanding their personality (sense of humor, what makes them happy, what makes them sad, what their biggest insecurities are)

6. Accepting their mistakes, regrets, accomplishments, successes, sadness and happiness and knowing that they have shaped them into who they are today

7. Seeing and tolerating them in their worst and best moods and being thankful that they show both (and all moods) to me

8. Keeping their secrets

9. Making them laugh when they need to laugh and letting them be sad when they need to be sad

10. Helping them through the tough times and celebrating with them during the happy times

Summer 2011 Goals

Summer is my favorite time of the year because I get to spend it doing things that I want to do without feeling an ounce of guilt for neglecting my school work. This summer has kicked off to being the best summer of my life, and I have many goals to ensure that it stays that way.

Here are the things I hope to accomplish in the remaining months of summer:

1. See the movie Bridesmaids (completed July 24)

2. Go sky diving (postponed to when I study abroad/next summer)

3. Take a day trip to the Dells (completed August 2)

4. Have successful Drill Team performances (completed in July & August)

5. Read "The Choice" by Nicholas Sparks (completed July 7)

6. See Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 in theaters (completed July 16)

7. Establish a regular work out routine (completed July 12)

8. Have plans put into action to study abroad in the Spring of 2012 (completed August 31)

9. Drive my motorcycle to the Norske Nook in Osseo for pie with my dad (September 11)

10. Spend an entire day with friends outside (completed August 23)

11. Take another trip out West (unsuccessful)

12. Read "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman

13. Convince my mom to take a "girls" trip (completed shortly after I posted this blog)

14. Pay off the interest accrued on my school loans (completed June 22)

15. Officially get my motorcycle license (completed July 1)

We'll see how much I end up accomplishing by the time September rolls around. I'm excited and thankful that I have a lot to look forward to and the means to make my goals a reality.

What I've Been Up To

I don't typically like to write blogs about what I've been up to, but I have done tons of stuff since my summer started one month ago. Here's a quick recap of what I've been up to:

1. Road trip out West - From May 17th - 21st I took a road trip with one of my best friends, McKenzie. I posted a blog about it, which you can read at http://elezpona.blogspot.com/2011/06/top-10-reasons-to-take-road-trip.html. Some of the highlights included: Gateway Arch in St. Louis, Missouri; 4 Corners Monument; every type of weather possible; and Delicate Arch in Arches National Park, Moab, Utah.

2. Zimmerman-Olenski Wedding - On May 29th, 2011, my friends Laura and Ben tied the knot. However, the fun began on May 27th with a fantastic Bachelorette Party and continued with the rehearsal dinner on May 28th. The wedding took up the whole day (and then some) on the 29th, and the weekend ended with gift opening on Monday. All I can say is that it was hands down the best weekend of my life and I'm not sure anything could even compete with it! Good friends and awesome memories. It was an honor to stand as a bridesmaid in their wedding and be apart of their very special day.

3. Motorcycle License - I've always wanted to get my motorcycle license, so the weekend of June 3rd, I began a class to do just that. It was a three day class and I can officially cross this off of my bucket list. I had no idea something, like driving a motorcycle, could be so much fun.

4. Work - Despite my busy schedule, I have managed to find time to work which I find enjoyable because I love my job and my co-workers.

5. Drill Team - Beginning in March, I joined a drill team with my horse, Vogue. I've kept busy with practices every week and riding throughout the week. This drill team has truly pushed me to become a better rider, and it's a great challenge to experience with my horse, Vogue.

6. State FFA Convention - On Monday of last week, I headed to Madison with Whitney. We were putting on a workshop together and had a PSO Reunion to attend. We ended up leaving sooner and staying longer than anticipated; however, it was great to spend some time with friends I haven't seen for a while.

7. Friends - When I'm not working, traveling, or riding my horse, I am with my friends. From the beach, to hiking, to movies, to dinner dates, to drinks...I'm always doing something with someone. I can say that I have incredible friends and I am blessed to have each of them in my life.

That sums my summer up pretty well. In the next few days I hope to post a blog about the goals I have yet for this summer. With each day that passes, I am realizing that I do have quite a few. I hope you find yourself enjoying life as much as I have been since summer officially kicked off.

Road Trip Destinations

As I mentioned at the end of my previous blog, I planned to put together a list of various road trip destinations...just in case any of you still need some convincing!

1. Disney World, Florida

2. Washington, D.C.

3. Boston, Massachusetts

4. Chicago, Illinois

5. New Orleans, Louisiana

6. Grand Canyon, Arizona

7. Las Vegas, Nevada

8. Seattle, Washington

9. Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming

10. Redwood National Park, California

11. Death Valley National Park, California/Nevada

12. Matinicus Rock Light Station, Maine

13. Gettysburg, Pennsylvania

14. Niagara Falls, Canada

15. Leave with no pre-determined destination

I encourage you to look up some of these areas because there are many things to do or see, a piece of history to value, or a place to relax and appreciate the beauty in this world.

Top 10 Reasons to take a Road Trip

On May 17th, one of my good friends and I, McKenzie, took a road trip together. About 2 months prior McKenzie had approached me with the idea of taking a road trip to Maine. We decided that there was not enough time for us to truly see the East coast, so we decided to make our ultimate destination point be to the Four Corners Monument (which is a place I have always wanted to go). I leaped at the idea because I have a huge passion for traveling. There is just something about the idea of seeing the world that excites me and it is something I plan to do throughout my life.

As I told my friends, family, co-workers, and classmates about this trip I learned quite a few things. First, the idea of a road trip is something many people want to do, but few people actually end up doing. Second, many people are jealous of the fact that you are actually going on a road trip. Third, most people do not see the value of actually making a road trip a reality. Naturally, I began to create a list of what I feel are the "top 10" reasons why a person should take a road trip (preferably with at least one good friend). I base this list off of my first and only road trip I've taken with a friend. We traveled to St. Louis and spent an afternoon and morning there before heading West to see friends, visit the Four Corners Monument, and hike in Arches National Park. During this trip, I learned a number of different things as we traveled 3300 miles in 5 days. This list is in no particular order.

Top 10 Reasons to take a Road Trip:

10. Pit stops, road construction, random signs, and music are what make a road trip fun, entertaining, and surprising. You develop inside jokes that will more than likely last a lifetime, play the License Plate game, play padiddle, and laugh about all the interesting things you encounter.

9. You get to see many of the states in the most beautiful way possible: by driving right through them. Enjoying the scenery was one of the best parts of this road trip. Do you have any idea how exciting mountains are when you do not see them everyday?

8. There are many obstacles that you need to face head on right in the heat of the moment (like figuring out public transportation in a big city, driving through a big city, or being comfortable asking a stranger for directions).

7. You won't regret spending any of the money that you spent to make this road trip a reality. Not even one penny. And I'll be honest, this trip was a lot cheaper than I expected it to be. Mainly because McKenzie's car gets exceptional gas mileage--33.2 mpg, to be exact.

6. You mature and grow as a person very quickly because you have to figure things out for yourself.

5. You learn the true value of being fully prepared. Note to everyone: you may need a winter jacket if you drive through the mountains or a rain jacket if you plan to hike and rain is in the forecast.

4. Bonding: You get to know a friend (or friends) a lot better than what you already thought you had and become a lot closer to them. On a road trip, you truly get to be yourself.

3. Time essentially doesn't matter. You learn the true value of a 24-hour time period and just how much can be accomplished during that time...especially if you only use 4 of it for sleeping. For example, it is possible to drive from the west side of Colorado to Wisconsin in 18 hours.

2. Instant gratification: no waiting in lines, no waiting for flights. If you're thinking about traffic, see #10. There is no such thing as delay, you're a road trip!

1. It's the smallest way you can begin to see this beautiful world that God created for us.

This road trip was one of the best things I could have ever done. It was an adventure and it was fully about the journey, not the destination. I know it sounds cliche, but now I fully understand that saying. And you can too if you plan to take a road trip. If you're not sure where to go, don't worry, my next blog will be about future places to take a road trip to.

Burnt Biscuits

This is great advice for all of us

When I was a kid, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.

On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school.

I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides, a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"

Life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others faults and choosing to celebrate each others differences is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

So we should learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker!

We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!

"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket. Keep it in your own."

God Bless You, now, and always.

Who Leaders Are...What Leaders Do

Who Leaders Are … What Leaders Do
By Shawn McGuirk

Leadership: n. a person or thing that leads. – Random House Dictionary

But what do we mean when we use this term? When we say that someone is a leader, or has leadership qualities? How do we know? What attributes do we identify when making a statement such as this? How does anyone know what a true leader is and what a true leader does? In essence; what makes someone a leader?

I may think that someone is a leader because they’re honest, hard working, forthright, and have demonstrated an ability to make important decisions. You may believe that these attributes are applicable, but that it is preferable for someone to be superbly intelligent, or that a person can motivate others and “make things happen.”

So what is the “correct” definition of leadership? The truth is that the qualities of leadership will manifest themselves in others several different ways and at various times. We can take a look at history and quickly discover that the qualities of leadership in one person will be quite different than in another.

To some, John F. Kennedy was a passionate, strong, effective and bold leader who was able to make the most difficult decisions and inspire others. Someone else may prefer to emulate a leader the likes of Mother Theresa, who gave of herself selflessly so that others may survive and flourish. Yet another may decide to look within their household; a parent, a sibling, or a child.

And so amidst the definitions of leadership, and those that personify these definitions, I submit that all of them have something in common. And so this will serve as my personal definition on the topic:

Leadership: n. a person or thing that demonstrates the courage to do
something differently.

I would challenge anyone to argue this point. Whether those we think of as leaders lead a million people or one does not matter. What does matter is that they have discovered a way to inspire those they lead. I don’t think the importance of being able to inspire another can be overstated. As Dale Carnegie states in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People:

“There is only one way under heaven to get anybody to do anything…and that is by making the other person want to do it.” (p. 18)

I believe that there are 4 things we must be able to do if we are going to be effective leaders. They are:

Be courageous enough to shift paradigms and see things differently I refer back to my personal definition of leadership. That a person must be able to change focus, recognize that there is another way, and then move in that direction. Colin Powell once said that effective leadership means that others are willing to follow you if only out of curiosity. What better way to instill curiosity than to promote the flow of creative thinking and action?

Help those we lead find meaning in what we are asking them to do
Let’s face it, we have all been told to do things we may not have wanted to do. It’s a fact of life. So how do we help people find meaning in what must be done? We invest in them. We show concern, we communicate, and we talk with them and not at them. I’ll share one sure-fire way to find out what’s important to people (it’s complex, so you might want to write this down) - we ask them.

Create involvement of the process for those we are leading
Related to step #2 - Once we know what it is people want (what has meaning) we can begin to get them involved in the process. How? We provide opportunity for professional growth, which in turn demonstrates to them that we trust that they will do what needs to be done. I remember someone saying during a lecture once that it’s impossible to motivate people because they are already motivated, and it’s our job to find out what that motivation is and help them redirect it into completing the task at hand.

Reward and recognize achievement
This should be self-explanatory and obvious. Too often I have heard people say that if you reward and recognize too much then it loses its meaning. WRONG! How many of us come home from a long day at work thinking, “my boss praised me way too much today.” I’ll tell you - no one thinks that. And no one else will think that if steps 1-3 are done in advance. Instead it will continue to reaffirm in others that you think they are doing a good job, and that you think enough of them to include them in the process of decision-making. Understand that by this I do not suggest that they will be making the decisions, but those you are trying to lead will inevitably “buy-in” to your decisions if they know that their opinions on the matter have been heard.

So what is it that makes someone a leader? Ultimately I believe that an effective leader will constantly be in the process of creating leaders. How? By having the courage to shift focus and try things differently, creating meaning and involvement, and rewarding and recognizing improvement and a job well done.

As Wuzu said to Fojian, “When you give people tasks, probe them deeply to see if they are sincere… Leaders are naturally honored when their words are taken seriously; the community is naturally impressed when people are chosen for their sincerity.” (Zen Lessons, The Art of Leadership p. 18)

Note: This article is adapted from a similar article written by the author that appeared in the September 99 Talking Stick.

Conflict Management

Conflict is something that every person has to deal with at some point in his or her own life. It may be with a friend, a family member, a co-worker, or a group member. What’s important is how you choose to handle a conflict. I just wrapped up a communications course for school, and came across a very useful chart that assesses how a person may view conflict: positive or negative. What are your personal attitudes toward conflict?

Here’s a test to help you find out.
1. State your personal definition of conflict, and indicate how you feel when involved in a conflict.
2. Use the scale below to assess the extent to which you consider conflict in a small group. For each rating, circle the number the best reflects how you feel.
a. Total you circled numbers
b. Score of 10-14: You believe that conflict is definitely positive
c. Score of 15-20: You believe that conflict can be helpful
d. Score of 21-30: You do not like to think about conflict
e. Score of 31-40: You believe that conflict is something to try and avoid
f. Score of 41-50: You believe that conflict is definitely negative

Conflict: Positive or Negative?
Good 1 2 3 4 5 Bad
Rewarding 1 2 3 4 5 Threatening
Normal 1 2 3 4 5 Abnormal
Constructive 1 2 3 4 5 Destructive
Necessary 1 2 3 4 5 Unnecessary
Challenging 1 2 3 4 5 Overwhelming
Desirable 1 2 3 4 5 Undesirable
Inevitable 1 2 3 4 5 Avoidable
Healthy 1 2 3 4 5 Unhealthy
Clean 1 2 3 4 5 Dirty

How did you do? And more importantly, what steps are you going to take to improve your score and help others improve their score? I found this to be useful and I am glad to know where I stand in how I view conflict.

References:
Gamble, T.K., & Gamble, M. (2008). Communication works. Boston: Mc Graw Hill.

Two Choices

The following is an email my mom sent me. I hope you take to heart the importance and value of this inspiring man illustrated below. John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, 'If I were any better, I would be twins!' He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, 'I don't get it!' 'You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?' He replied, 'Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or...you can choose to be in a bad mood I choose to be in a good mood.' Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or...I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life. 'Yeah, right, it's not that easy,' I protested. 'Yes, it is,' he said. 'Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life.' I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it. Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back. I saw him about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, 'If I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna see my scars?' I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place... 'The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,' he replied. 'Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live.' 'Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?' I asked. He continued, '...the paramedics were great.' They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action.' 'What did you do?' I asked. 'Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,' said John. 'She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.' He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude....I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' Matthew 6:34. After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Going Against Talents

In high school, I felt a huge desperation to try and fit in with the "cool" crowd. In my opinion, the "cool" crowd, also known as the popular crowd, were the athletes in my school. They received all the attention and people just seemed to know who they were. I wanted that.

For much of my high school career, I tried desperately to be good at sports. In middle school I was a member of the volleyball, basketball, and track teams, but was definitely not a stand out star. I decided to try some different sports in high school. From powerlifting, soccer, and cross country...none of them provided me with what I had hoped for.

Luckily for me, I did discover something I was naturally good at in high school: public speaking and horseback riding. It hasn't been until nearly 4 years after my high school graduation that I have come to appreciate my God-given talents. Sometimes I think back to how I wish I could have focused more on the things that I was naturally good at because who knows where they could have taken me. And since then, I've learned a lot more about myself and what I am naturally good at.

Everyone hass a natural talent. Do not go against it. Who knows where it can end up taking you. You know yourself better than anyone so do not let a person or other people guide the path you take in life. Use your God-given talents. Love them. Appreciate them. I wish I figured this out sooner than I did. I learned that what I wanted in the beginning turned out to be something I would not have truly wanted. Fitting in turned out to be a lot better because I was (and still am) surrounded by people who could positively influence my natural talents and help me improve them.

Two Horses

The following story is an email I received from a good friend of mine.


"Two Horses"
(Author Unknown)

Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it.

From a distance, each horse looks like any other horse. but if you stop your car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing.

Looking into the eyes of one horse, will disclose that he is blind. His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him.



This alone is amazing. If you stand nearby and listen, you will hear the sound of a bell. Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field.

Attached to the horse's halter, is a small bell. It lets the blind friend know where the other horse is, so he can follow.

As you stand and watch these two friends, you'll see that the horse with the bell is always checking on the blind horse, and that the blind horse will listen for the bell and then, slowly, walk to where the other horse is, trusting that he will not be led astray.

When the horse with the bell returns to the shelter of the barn each evening, it stops, occasionally, and looks back, making sure that the blind friend isn't too far behind to hear the bell.



Like the owners of these two horses, God does not throw us away just because we are not perfect, or because we have problems or challenges.

He watches over us, and even brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need.

Sometimes, we are the blind horse being guided by the little ringing bell of those whom God places in our lives. Other times,we are the guide horse, helping others to find their way.

Good friends are like that... You may not always see them, but you know they are always there!

Please listen for my bell, and I'll listen for yours.

And remember...
Be kinder than necessary. Everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Live simply,
Love generously,
Care deeply,
Speak kindly...

And leave the rest to God! For we walk by faith, and not by sight. Amen.

Technology and Communication

Lately, I've become rather irritated with how people communicate via technology--mainly texting and Facebook. It appears as though many people are struggling to communicate without the barrier of a cell phone or computer to "protect" them when resolving a conflict in particular.

Do not get me wrong, I am perfectly fine with having conversations with someone about plans for the night, to see how a friend's day is going, wishing someone good luck on an exam, or simply just catching up through text messaging or through Facebook. However, I am not okay with someone trying to solve an issue or conflict with someone or arguing through either of these means of communication. Personally, I think technology is great and it is something that I use every single day. It is up to each individual person to use it appropriately.

Ask yourself this: How do you resolve conflict? If text messaging, Facebook, or posting a status targeted at someone came to mind, in my opinion you are handling your conflicts both poorly and negatively.

Technology is destroying the way we communicate in a negative way. When we are faced with a problem, we need to be mature about it. Pick up the phone and call that person. Or schedule a time to meet for lunch to talk about it. Do not resort to a cowardly way out by hiding behind the face of technology. By doing this, it feels okay to say mean things and we say things we would not normally face-to-face.

My whole point with this blog post was to get you thinking about how you handle conflict in your own life. Become the bigger person, do not give in to someone who may try to use technology as a means of communicating to resolve conflict. Force him or her to sit down face-to-face or pick up the phone and call that person.

The conflict will not become as messy, it will be resolved sooner, and things that we wish we could take back will not be said.

Are you happy?

Poster Credit: Alex Koplin and David Meiklejohn

Remembering Names

I have quite a large list of goals I hope to accomplish during my life. Some are large goals, like my desire to backpack through Europe after I graduate college for 6+ weeks, or my hope to rescue as many animals as possible, or to attend a Super Bowl. However, I have some small goals that I try to accomplish daily. Most are simple things like holding the door for people, drinking enough water, and living honestly. One of my daily goals is not so simple, but perhaps the most important to me.

Whenever I meet someone new, I make it my personal goal to remember his or her name. I do this for a number of reasons. First, I like it when people I just meet do it for me. Second, I think it is really important to use a person's name in daily conversation. Third, it impresses people that you are able to do this. Fourth, it's important and makes a person feel special.

This task comes relatively easy for me mainly because I have a ridiculously good memory. It also comes easy to me because it is a personal goal of mine. I am always sure to pay extra attention to a person when they introduce themselves. When is the last time you have met someone that has not had to ask twice what your name was?

Since I realize that this is not an easy task for everyone, I have come up with a list of tips that I do to help me remember a person's name so that I do not find myself needing to ask the dreaded question: "What's your name again?"

1. As soon as I learn a person's name, I try to immediately use it in conversation. "It is nice to meet you Jackie..." or "Jackie, where are you from?"

2. End the conversation using the person's name. "Have a great day, Brian." or "Hope to see you again soon, Brian."

3. For some reason, if I know where a person is from, I can associate that place with them. They are no longer just Jessica, they are Jessica from Minneapolis. Find some way that you can associate a person with something whether it is where they are from, what they do, or what his or her hobbies are.

4. Ask someone how they spell their name. Maybe it is Katie, only they spell it Catey. Or even Emily, spelt Emilie. Being able to visualize their name exactly how it is spelt will help you remember their name even more quickly because it is different than what you are used to.

5. Use mnemonic devices or alliteration to remember a name of someone you meet. For example, Charlie from Chicago, Jammin' Jake, John...like my best friend, etc.

6. If a person's name is one you have not heard before, ask them the meaning behind it. I once met a girl named Seranda and she told me how her sister had picked her name out for her when she was born. I still remember it to this day.

7. If a person has a name that is hard to pronounce, take the extra effort to actually learn how to say it (and perhaps use rule #4 and ask them how it is spelt).

8. Say the person's name to yourself three times right when they introduce themselves.

9. If a person calls you about something that you have not personally met (maybe you are looking at an apartment, selling your car, or inquiring about a job), write their name down as soon as they say it and use it at the end of the phone conversation (just like rule #2, only easier).

10. Most importantly, do what I do. Make it a goal for yourself to actually remember the names of those you meet. You will stand out to everyone you meet because you have remembered their name.

I feel this is such an important skill to have because according to Dale Carnegie, who developed famous courses on self-improvement and self-confidence, "a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language." I fully believe that this is one skill you will not regret making the effort to have. Think about it for a second, when you have to tell a person your name again, how do you feel? I personally feel unimportant and receive the vibe that the person does not even care about me. When a person remembers your name, I bet you feel just the opposite: important and that they actually care.

Make the commitment today to remember the names of those you meet. Make them feel important and that you were genuinely listening and that you genuinely care.

The Johari Window

Today I learned about an eye-opening model used in the psychology and communication world. This tool, created by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1995 will help you better understand interpersonal communications and relationships. It contains four panes and it helps explain the roles of self-awareness and self disclosure in relationships. I found it to be incredibly useful that I knew I needed to share it with others.



Open: Known to self

The part of the self containing information that is known to both the self and others. This size and content depends on your relationship to the "others."
Examples include: Name, age, occupation, etc.

Blind: Not known to self

The part of the self known to others, but not known to oneself; being oblivious about your own faults and virtues. The "stuff" that drives others "crazy" about you.
Examples include: Interrupting, not taking your shoes off open entering a friends' home, not staying in contact, etc.

Hidden: Known to self

The part of the self that contains information about the self known to oneself, but that is hidden from others.
Food for thought: What would it take to reveal some of this information to others? How much self-disclosure would it take to have a commonality with someone? How long do you need to know someone to reveal this information?
Examples include: A secret that you are selective in who you tell.

Unknown: Not known to self

The part of the self that that is unknown to oneself and others.
Food for thought: What do you think determines more development in this area?
Examples include: A moment where you realize something you cannot believe you did not realize before.

If you want to know more about The Johari Window, search about it on the web. I have only included the knowledge that I understand and grasp about this concept. There is more to this tool than what I learned about in class.

Superhero Powers

Monday started the first day of my second semester at UW-La Crosse. I have some really neat classes this semester. One of them is called Intimate Relationships. My professor had everyone introduce themselves to the class by saying their name, hometown, major, minor, future plans, best/worst piece of dating advice, and what superhero power you would want to have (if you could have one, of course). There was a number of great responses from my fellow classmates. There were two in particular that really caught my attention, hence this blog post. Before I tell you, I am going to keep you in suspense for a moment.

I think most of us have been asked the question: What superhero power would you have if you could have one? At least I think it is safe to say that it is something all of us have thought about at one point. What one would you want? You may want to be able to read minds. Perhaps you want to be able to fly. Or maybe you want to become invisible. These were all responses that some of my classmates expressed Monday night. I always thought I had an idea of what one I would pick, but after two responses I heard earlier this week...I have changed my mind.

What if you had a superhero power that benefited others? Think about it. Most of us are selfish and automatically want a power that would benefit us which is typical. Never in my life have I had someone mention a superhero power that benefited others. One girl in my class said she would want to be able to heal others. In fact, when I heard this, I was so shocked by her intelligent response that I am sure my jaw was dropped; I was immediately jealous that I had not thought of something so powerful and selfless myself. The other one that was mentioned by a guy in my class was to be able to control emotions of others. These two I think go hand in hand, but I find them both to be important things to think about.

The truth is: I think that we all have a superhero power like these, but we do not always use it. When we are with people, do we make them feel better? Do we make them feel worse? Do we elevate their mood? Do we decrease their mood? Do we make them happy? Do we make them sad? These are all essential questions that we should all ask ourselves. What type of an impact or impression are you personally leaving on those whom you come in contact with randomly or frequently? All of us have natural talents, but it is how we use them that make us special. I think it would be incredibly valuable to have a superhero power to heal others or to control emotions of others. For now, I will settle for making sure that I am always leaving a positive impact on those whom I come in contact with. It may not be a power, but it is a choice--and a powerful one.