Talking Negatively About Others

Okay, admit it, you are guilty of talking about people behind their back. Honestly, who isn't? I would be a hypocrite to say that I never partake in such an activity, and I think we would all be lying to ourselves if we said we never spoke one negative thing about another person when they were not around.

Growing up, I tried to live by not saying anything about a person unless I was willing to say it to their face. Essentially, it makes perfect sense because if something negative that I may have said got back to the person I said it about, I can just stand my ground about what I said before if this person confronts me. However, I have found this to be an incredibly hard thing to live by because I am a person who likes to get things off my chest. And realistically, do I really need to tell a person that they upset me or annoyed me about something every time? Plus I think you all know the end result of this scenario. We lose a friend, we lose respect of that person, and more than likely, we probably lose respect from the person we said it to.

I think that gossip is one of the most hurtful things in the world which is why I feel so compelled to blog about this topic. The simple solution could be to just never talk about a person in a negative way. People are not going to go along with this. Maybe for you it can be as simple as what I mentioned above and not saying anything that you would not say to a person's face. Realistically, this is not that easy for everyone. If you still feel the need to talk about others in a negative way, consider these two things before you do it again.

First, if you really feel the need to talk bad about other people, why not do it only with the people that you know it will not extend any further? Have those one or two friends that you can talk to where you know that they will not tell another person. I think it is important to have people in your life you can have confidence in. This is a healthier option for everyone involved. You can get things off your chest and no one gets hurt in the process. Is this perfect? No, but it is better than running your mouth around anyone and everyone. Do not be a person that feels better by putting other people down. I will be honest, I think this is one of the most pathetic qualities anyone can have. Do not be a person that consistently talks negative about others. It is just not a positive way to live your life.

My second way of dealing with this is a little different. Do you ever take the time to think about why you do not like another person? Okay, do you have that reason in mind? Now, have you ever taken the time to try and understand why a person might act the way they do? Maybe someone always feels the need to control a situation and it absolutely drives you crazy whenever you have to work with that person. There is a possibility that this person may have had a life experience that you do not know about which is why they act controlling. It could be something so traumatic that as a result, they control things to mentally put themselves at ease. This may seem irrational, but how do you know that this is not the case? You never truly know what a person may have been through in life. Experiences shape us into the person we are, but some experiences are not worth sharing to just anyone.

My whole point with all of this is that we need to think twice before talking about others. It is hurtful to the victim if the things said get back to them through another source. It all comes down to what we are told when we are children: if you do not have anything nice to say, do not say it all. Our lives could be so much better if we live by this because I feel it holds a lot of value in today's world.

The Traveler's Gift

I recently completed yet another really good book. The Traveler's Gift, by Andy Andrews, is a very inspiration read. For the past two weeks, I have debated whether or not to write any sort of review for this book on my blog because it is that good and I did not want to risk giving any of it away by what I may choose to write. But I need to share this book because it is hands down, one of the best books I have ever read.

I read this book in three sittings; I simply could not put it down. This book is a page-turner and as I grew closer to the end of it, I found myself slowing down as I was reading it because I did not want it to end. This book uncovers seven decisions that determine personal success.

This book takes you on a journey with David, the main character, and immediately teaches you wisdom from past generations that you will feel compelled to put into action in your life immediately. The Traveler's Gift taught me many valuable lessons about embracing life and not becoming discouraged during times of struggle. What makes this book so great is how the author tells the story and provides the wisdom about personal success from past generations, which I will not give away...all I will say is that you need to read this book, it is phenomenal.

If you are not yet interested, here are a few of my most favorite quotes from the book, from nearly a two page list that I wrote down!

"I have deep within me the inability to do nothing."

"Passion is a product of the heart. Passion is what helps you when you have a great dream."

"Until a person takes responsibility for where he is, there is no basis for moving on. The bad news is that past was in your hands, but the good news is that the future, my friend, is also in your hands."

"We are all in situations of our own choosing. Our thinking creates a pathway to success or failure. By disclaiming responsibility for our present, we crush the prospect of an incredible future that might have been ours."

"You can change the future by changing your actions today. It is really a very simple process."

"We are always and forever influenced by those with whom we associate."

One Compliment A Day

One compliment a day. It may seem like a simple task, but what if that one compliment a day that you give...was given to yourself? Do you think you could still do it?

Last semester during finals week, I was having a heart to heart with a new friend, Kelsey, I made in one of my classes. We talked for quite a bit about a number of things. There was one thing that really stood out from our conversation. She told me I needed to "give yourself one compliment a day because you deserve it!" The way she said it to me was inspiring to me and she made me promise to do so.

One compliment a day? My first reaction in my head was, "Why?" But once I thought about it a little more, it made a lot of sense. Being able to compliment ourselves is a challenging task. It is often uncomfortable, we do not want to to seem arrogant by doing this, and we often face ourselves with the thought: "I do not deserve to be told that."

Well, let me be the first to correct you with that thought. You do deserve it! Everyone deserves to feel good about themselves. Everyone deserves to hear good things about themselves, even if it is coming from them. Everyone deserves to really feel self-confident. Self-confidence is beautiful. I can honestly tell you that if you do start to give yourself one compliment a day, you will begin to feel more self-confident in yourself. Make it a part of your daily routine in the morning. Look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself a compliment because you deserve it.

I came across a book one day while shopping at Barnes & Noble, Power Thoughts 365 Daily Affirmations by Louise Hay. I mention this book for two reasons. First, because if you do not want to give yourself a compliment, you could do a daily affirmation instead. Second, it is very uplifting to read what is in this book. Here are a few of my favorites below just so you can get an idea of all the good affirmations that this book is filled with.

#1: I choose to feel good about myself every day. Every morning I remind myself that I can make the choice to feel good. This is a new habit for me to cultivate.

#17: I have many dreams, and I know that I deserve to have these dreams come true.

# 65: I open my consciousness to all the wonderful possibilities of life.

#122: I constantly find new ways of looking at my world. I see beauty everywhere.

#177: I express my creativity openly and freely.

#210: I am now willing to see my own beauty and magnificence.

#257: My heart forgives and releases. Inner peace is my goal.

#273: I am independent, and do what I want to do. I try out new ideas. I am a leader today.

#316: I take the things I think are "wrong" about me and turn them into positive affirmations.

One compliment a day or one affirmation a day? The choice is yours. The results of how it makes you feel are endless. I challenge you to do this. And I also encourage you to pick up this book. Do this simple task of one compliment a day. You will not regret it.