The Secret of Happiness

The above book is an absolutely fantastic read. I am not going to do my typical review like I have done of previous books that I read, but I will say that this book was an easy read and I had a hard time putting it down. It teaches a lot of valuable lessons about faith, Heaven, God, how to treat people, life, and how not to judge people based solely upon their past.

There was one part of the book that really jumped out at me and I wanted to share that little passage because I think it is very important. The book discusses the secret to happiness. I am going to share this with you because I think it is valuable no matter when you read it, but I encourage you to read this book to develop an even deeper appreciation of this secret we all strive to know. Remember this and live by this.

The Secret of Happiness:

"Be satisfied. Be grateful. For what you have.

For the love you receive. And for what God has given you."

-Have a Little Faith

Forgiveness

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” -Paul Boese

Forgiveness. Sometimes one of the hardest things to do in life is to forgive someone for something that they did that may have hurt you. Why is it that many people would rather hold something against a person for a very long time rather than just let go and avoid that extra stress in life? It has always confused me that people would rather hold a grudge than forgive someone and move on.

I have never been the type of person that can stay mad at a person for a long time, but I know that not everyone is this way. At some point in life, almost everyone holds a grudge against another person. Personally, I feel that every one's life would be less stressful if people would simply not hold grudges against another person. What bothers me the most about people not be willing to forgive? Let me tell you.

Well, first, I think that it affects relationships with others. For example, if a friend of yours is mad at someone (or holding some sort of grudge against another person), it often seems that your friend expects you to treat this person with little respect too. Now this grudge that you have against someone affects their relationships with others. Personally, I find this to be very immature of both the person who is unable to forgive and his or her friend. Why would people expect their friends to treat others poorly just because they cannot forgive another person? A person who makes a mistake does not deserve to lose other people as friends.

And second, I cannot understand why a person is willing to hold a grudge for so long. It is unhealthy. Think of a time you were really mad at someone. How long did you stay mad at them for? Are you even still friends with this person? Did your unwillingness to forgive a someone later affect your relationship with that person? Chances are, if you are still friends with someone you were really upset with for a long time, it affected your relationship and friendship and it was difficult to move forward after a "bump" in the road. Take a second to think about why you are mad. In three months from now, will it really matter? If the answer is no, forgive immediately.

I understand that people can have a hard time forgiving people when they are let down. Even the person you trust the most is going to let you down one time or another. People are not capable of doing the right thing all the time or keeping others happy with decisions they may make. Next time you find yourself mad at someone, holding a grudge, or being unwilling to forgive...take a step back from the situation. Try to understand why a person did what they did. Maybe there is a reason that may make you understand. Talk to the person and never make assumptions because that only makes a situation worse.

Forgiveness. It is a hard thing to do at times, but when we forgive others, we can move on and keep our relationships in our life healthy. When we forgive others, we are happier and less stressed. Forgive when it is hard, forgive when you do not understand, forgive before it is the last thing you can do, forgive because you know that it will not matter down the road. Do it for others and do it for yourself.

“Let us forgive each other - only then will we live in peace." - Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy

40 Days, 40 People, 40 Letters

I have been very anxious to finally be able to write about what I did for Lent this year. Usually, I do something to only benefit myself which results in me giving up chocolate and pop. This year I chose to do something much different. Lent is a time to spend improving the lives of others as well as our own which is why I decided to do something very different. For each of the 40 days of Lent, I wrote one letter a day to someone who has had a positive impact on my life.

40 people. 40 days. 40 letters. This is all it took for me to realize just how lucky and blessed I am.

While doing this, I learned a lot about myself and began to really appreciate the people in my life. These letters were sent to people whom I speak to on a daily basis, people whom I have not spoken to in years, people whom I have not known for very long, and people whom I have not spent more than two weeks with. I realized that I have been incredibly blessed to have these 40 individuals in my life as well as how I have truly become who I am today because they have been a part of my life. These 40 people are absolutely amazing.

Writing one letter a day was rewarding for me, and I learned how disciplined I can be when I truly want to do something. I think we should all strive to tell people in our lives just how much they mean to us on a regular basis because it makes people feel good. The things I have heard from people that I wrote to have been touching, and I did not know how positive a simple letter could turn out to be.

Do not ever miss an opportunity to tell those who mean the most to you just how much they mean to you. Your words, actions, and sincerity can go very far.

Talking Negatively About Others

Okay, admit it, you are guilty of talking about people behind their back. Honestly, who isn't? I would be a hypocrite to say that I never partake in such an activity, and I think we would all be lying to ourselves if we said we never spoke one negative thing about another person when they were not around.

Growing up, I tried to live by not saying anything about a person unless I was willing to say it to their face. Essentially, it makes perfect sense because if something negative that I may have said got back to the person I said it about, I can just stand my ground about what I said before if this person confronts me. However, I have found this to be an incredibly hard thing to live by because I am a person who likes to get things off my chest. And realistically, do I really need to tell a person that they upset me or annoyed me about something every time? Plus I think you all know the end result of this scenario. We lose a friend, we lose respect of that person, and more than likely, we probably lose respect from the person we said it to.

I think that gossip is one of the most hurtful things in the world which is why I feel so compelled to blog about this topic. The simple solution could be to just never talk about a person in a negative way. People are not going to go along with this. Maybe for you it can be as simple as what I mentioned above and not saying anything that you would not say to a person's face. Realistically, this is not that easy for everyone. If you still feel the need to talk about others in a negative way, consider these two things before you do it again.

First, if you really feel the need to talk bad about other people, why not do it only with the people that you know it will not extend any further? Have those one or two friends that you can talk to where you know that they will not tell another person. I think it is important to have people in your life you can have confidence in. This is a healthier option for everyone involved. You can get things off your chest and no one gets hurt in the process. Is this perfect? No, but it is better than running your mouth around anyone and everyone. Do not be a person that feels better by putting other people down. I will be honest, I think this is one of the most pathetic qualities anyone can have. Do not be a person that consistently talks negative about others. It is just not a positive way to live your life.

My second way of dealing with this is a little different. Do you ever take the time to think about why you do not like another person? Okay, do you have that reason in mind? Now, have you ever taken the time to try and understand why a person might act the way they do? Maybe someone always feels the need to control a situation and it absolutely drives you crazy whenever you have to work with that person. There is a possibility that this person may have had a life experience that you do not know about which is why they act controlling. It could be something so traumatic that as a result, they control things to mentally put themselves at ease. This may seem irrational, but how do you know that this is not the case? You never truly know what a person may have been through in life. Experiences shape us into the person we are, but some experiences are not worth sharing to just anyone.

My whole point with all of this is that we need to think twice before talking about others. It is hurtful to the victim if the things said get back to them through another source. It all comes down to what we are told when we are children: if you do not have anything nice to say, do not say it all. Our lives could be so much better if we live by this because I feel it holds a lot of value in today's world.

The Traveler's Gift

I recently completed yet another really good book. The Traveler's Gift, by Andy Andrews, is a very inspiration read. For the past two weeks, I have debated whether or not to write any sort of review for this book on my blog because it is that good and I did not want to risk giving any of it away by what I may choose to write. But I need to share this book because it is hands down, one of the best books I have ever read.

I read this book in three sittings; I simply could not put it down. This book is a page-turner and as I grew closer to the end of it, I found myself slowing down as I was reading it because I did not want it to end. This book uncovers seven decisions that determine personal success.

This book takes you on a journey with David, the main character, and immediately teaches you wisdom from past generations that you will feel compelled to put into action in your life immediately. The Traveler's Gift taught me many valuable lessons about embracing life and not becoming discouraged during times of struggle. What makes this book so great is how the author tells the story and provides the wisdom about personal success from past generations, which I will not give away...all I will say is that you need to read this book, it is phenomenal.

If you are not yet interested, here are a few of my most favorite quotes from the book, from nearly a two page list that I wrote down!

"I have deep within me the inability to do nothing."

"Passion is a product of the heart. Passion is what helps you when you have a great dream."

"Until a person takes responsibility for where he is, there is no basis for moving on. The bad news is that past was in your hands, but the good news is that the future, my friend, is also in your hands."

"We are all in situations of our own choosing. Our thinking creates a pathway to success or failure. By disclaiming responsibility for our present, we crush the prospect of an incredible future that might have been ours."

"You can change the future by changing your actions today. It is really a very simple process."

"We are always and forever influenced by those with whom we associate."