Compliments: Good or Bad?

A few days ago, I was having a conversation with one of my friends. We ended up getting on the topics of compliments. I never really realized just how many different sides to compliments there could be. Some people love compliments, some people like to give them, some people hate to get them, and others love to get them. I have always looked at compliments as a positive thing because they make people feel good. And that is a good thing.

My friend mentioned that she never knows how to take a compliment. She says that sometimes she never knows if the person giving her the compliment is being sincere in what they are saying. She also mentioned that compliments from strangers mean more to her than when they come from someone she knows. At first, I did not see her logic in this, but after thinking about it, strangers usually pick up on things about you very quickly and compliment those attributes or qualities. It feels good to hear someone you do not know say something nice about you. I agree that it can be less awkward receiving a compliment from a stranger; however, how do you know if they are being sincere? After all, they are a stranger.

I, on the other hand, love compliments. I love getting compliments and I love giving compliments. They instantly boost my mood. I hope that they do the same for other people, so that is why I love giving them. After having our conversation, I started to wonder if people believed what I was saying when I gave them a compliment. What if people I have been giving compliments to have found them awkward to receive? Or worse, what if they did not believe me?

The biggest thing that I realized from the conversation is that many people do not know how to give sincere and genuine compliments. If we could know that people were being sincere every time they gave us a compliment , I think many people who do not like getting compliments would start to appreciate them more. From now on, do not ever give a compliment you do not mean. Be sincere in the things you say--they mean more. And that is important.

Why Effective People Are Effective

"The most effective people know who they are and why it matters."

The above quote is the one thing that Wisconsin FFA's Half-Time Conference guest speakers, Gena and Andrea, wanted the members to take away from their presentation. Their chosen topic hit home for me immediately and I thought, "I need to write a blog about this."

Why does it matter that we know who we are? Essentially, as you probably already guessed, it matters because you are a more effective person. It also matters because in my experience, people who know who they are have always been genuinely happy. And who does not want to be genuinely happy?

Take a moment and think about the most effective people you know in your life. Why are they effective? When I think about the people in my life who are effective, I consider them to be effective because they know who they are and why it matters. There is nothing better in life than having the confidence to know that you know who you are. When I think back to my late years of middle school and early years of high school, I cannot even come up with an answer to who I was because I did not know why it mattered.

Now I am a 21 year old college student. I know who I am. I know what I want to do with my life. I know who and what is important to me. I know what my values are. I surround myself with people I love and people who have a positive effect on me. I fill my life with things that keep me happy. I have the confidence to step away from something that I think is wrong or don't agree with. I have goals and ambitions. Life has its own battles at this age that you do not have to deal with when you are younger (like bills and grocery shopping), but the one thing that is very different for me is that I know who I am and why it matters. Knowing this allows me to be effective in the things I do.

By knowing all of these things, it allows me to not only be effective, but also to be happy with myself. It allows me to share my happiness with others; it allows me to be happy with my life. Knowing this creates a desire in me to help others know that things like this in life, which seems unattainable to some, are very possible. If you find yourself struggling to answer that question, "Who am I?" take a step back in life and surround yourself with the things that truly mean the most to you. Even if the things that truly mean the most to you are not the popular choice...who cares! Your personal happiness allows you to be an effective person which is something we should all aspire for and be proud of.

I'll leave you with one closing thought by the one and only Dr. Seuss: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

Up In The Air

Last week, I went to see the movie "Up In The Air." If you have not already gone to see this movie, go and see it. It illustrates a very different lifestyle that more than likely, very few people in our world probably live. It is about a man who has a job that requires extensive travel. He is hired by companies to fire people and flies around the country over 320 days a year. He literally has only the things he needs with him. These things do not include the relationships that many of us value and would struggle to live without. Can you imagine only having the things you need in your life to travel?

When the movie finished, I was faced with the questions: Can I live like that? Would I enjoy living like that? What "little things" would I take with me?

For the first question, I came to two conclusions, but settled on the second. I decided that I could live like that for basically the reason being that I do not like clutter in my life. I do not like it when my room is messy. I do not like it when my bathroom is dirty. I do not like having things I do not use laying around. Not being home, having my own bathroom, or not having useless things with me would eliminate those things I do not like. Then after thinking a little bit longer I realized that I could not live like that because seeing the people who mean the most to me is way more important. It would be neat to live this lifestyle for a few months, but in the long run, I would not enjoy it. It would be hard to come home to an empty apartment or feeling like I did not have a home. And more importantly, that people did not care about me.

As for the "little things" that I would take with me...well, the truth is, I do not have little things in my life that are that important. The things in my life that are important to me are big things like my parents, brothers, boyfriend, horses, and friends. I need those things surrounding me to keep me happy. I would struggle being away from them for extended periods of time. The little things are not that important to me, but the relationships I have in life are.

This movie made me realize how important relationships in life are. If you do not have relationships in life, what do you have to live for? To me, it would be a life of loneliness. Even though I love my "me" time, this lifestyle would more than likely drive me to insanity. What do you think of this lifestyle? Why do you think it is that some people can live a lifestyle like this? I walked out of the movie feeling thankful that I have the relationships in my life that I do.

Encouragement Goes A Long Way

Last year, there was one piece of advice I was given more than enough times to count. Sometimes it came from the same person. Other times it was from random people in random conversations. It is one of those pieces of advice you get when you are not asking for it, not expecting it, and do not realize you are even getting it. It was not until it popped up in a few random conversations in the exact same wording that I started to really take it to heart. So what is this piece of advice? It consists of the few shorts words of "encouragement goes a long way."

I bring this up now for 2 reasons.

First, it is at the beginning of a new year. That means that you are more than likely surrounded by many people who are working on living out new year's resolutions. Encourage them. Show them that you support them in their aspirations to become a better person. Whether they are doing something easy or hard (in your perspective)--encourage them. You will be surprised at just how far that encouragement can go.

Second, I feel it is a great thing to do in life. Why? Because it is true. I think about the times in my life when people have truly encouraged me to do things. That encouragement has taken me a long way. I am living proof that it works wonders on a person. Also, I have encouraged others and seen it work wonders on these people. It is a great habit to add to the relationships you have with others.

Try it. You'll be amazed at how much good you can do with something as simple as encouragement.

New Year's Resolutions

The new year has officially begun, and I have some new year's resolutions. Quite a few in fact. I usually keep my resolutions private and in the past have noticed that I have not been successful with them because of it. I wanted to write them down and publicize them in hopes that it will help me actually do them. Here they are in no particular order.

Emily's New Year's Resolutions

1. Work out regularly (4-5+ times a week)
2. Eat healthier
3. Spend less money and save more
4. Go riding more
5. Blog more (3-4 times a month)
6. Spend more time with family and friends
7. Read at least 1 book a month (preferably 2)

I will admit, I am not off to the greatest start right now in every area, but I haven't made out a plan for each one yet either. If I don't succeed right away, I am not going to look at it as failing. I will see it as a way to stop and reevaluate what I am doing so I can be successful with each resolution. My real hope in this is that each one will create a new habit in me and in the future it will all be a part of my daily routine.