Attribution Theory: Our Perceptions of Ourselves and Others

I absolutely love my interpersonal communications course I am taking this semester. Last week, we talked about perceptions. It was a very interesting topic that literally had me on the edge of my seat. More specifically, we indepthly discussed: Attribution Theory.

Attributions are our own subjective explanations for our own or others' behaviors. We make attributions, or assumptions, about the behaviors of people, or the reason behind a person's behavior. Ultimately, the attributions we make about others influence how we react to others.

There are two types of attributions:

1. External-attribute the cause of the behavior to the situation
2. Internal-attribute the cause of the behavior to the person

There are a number of common attribution errors we make about others.

Here are a few of the common errors:

1. Ultimate Attribution Error-we tend to make internal attributions of others' negative behavior and external attributions of others' positive behavior

We assume that a person is a bad driver because he or she pulled out in front of you. However, maybe that person pulled out in front of you because his wife is in labor or a family member was just rushed to the hospital. Or maybe our friend received a job promotion. Rather than considering his or her extra effort, we assume that it is because no one else applied for the position.

2. Self-Serving Bias-we tend to make external attributions of our negative behavior and internal of our positive behavior

We didn't do well on our exam because we had other things going on, when in reality we maybe did not spend enough time adequately preparing. However, when we do well on an exam it is because we attended class regularly and studied a lot.

3. Similarity Bias-we provide more favorable attributions toward in-groups than out-groups

It is typical to give a person the benefit of the doubt when we feel they are similar to us, or they are in our "in-group." If someone is late for lunch in our in-group, we forgive them immediately or assume they were stuck in traffic. However, if someone from our out-group is late for lunch, we assume they are lazy or disorganized.

4. Positivity Bias-we tend to make more positive than negative judgements about others when we have the chance to interact with them

Once we become friends with a person, we make positive excuses for them. This is similar to Error #3. If a friend does not call us when they say they are going to call, we assume they got caught up with others things and they forgot rather than that they did not want to chat with us.

For the rest of our lives, we will make attributions about others. If we actively keep this theory in mind, it can improve our relationships with others and help us let the small stuff roll of our backs.

How do we do this? With perception checking. Next time you assume a friend is mad at you for example, approach the situation differently by doing these three things:

1. Behavioral description-explain what it is that person is doing
2. 2 possible attributions-2 ways to interpret the behavior
3. Request for clarification

"I've noticed you've been really quiet lately. I am thinking that you are either stressed out or you are mad at me. Can you help me understand your quietness better?"

This approach will prevent a person from becoming defensive to your assumptions and will allow for a smoother and calm transition into the real issue.

One Reason to be Happy

Earlier today I was outside doing some yard work. I saw one of my neighbor's kids whom I used to babysit for. I said hello and asked him how he was doing and how school was. He told me "good" to both questions which is of course the typical response for a 7-year old boy. Then he said, "The only reason I am happy today is because I get to drive my dirt bike later." I automatically assumed it was because of the gorgeous weather that he was able to drive it on this particular day. Although I quickly learned it was because a part for it that was missing had arrived in the mail.

I immediately wanted to tell him that he had more than one reason to be happy today, but in the life of a child, happiness comes from fun. It does not come from little moments, nice weather, or fall colors like it does once we become older and understand the concept of appreciating the small things in life. I decided to smile at the fact that he had one reason to be happy. The above conversation was short, but it made me think about how we all have one reason to be happy each day. Even if there is only one reason, that's what is important.

So I would like to know, what is your only reason to be happy today? Now go focus on that and be happy.

Quotes I Love #2

"If you ever want to enjoy the rainbow, be prepared to endure the storm."
-Warren Wiersbe

"This could be such a beautiful world if we could all care just a little more."
-Rosalind Welcher

"To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe."
-Anatole France

"And in the end it's not the years in a life, it's the life in years."
-Abraham Lincoln

"First we make our habits, then ours habits make us."
-Charles C. Noble

"Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it."
-Dwight D. Eisenhower

"Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness, and just be happy."
-Guillaume Apollonaire

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck."
-Dalai Lama

"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it."
-Confucius

"Actions speak louder than words but not nearly as often."
-Mark Twain

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."
-Mother Theresa

"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing."
-Walt Disney

"Your regrets aren't what you did, but what you didn't do. So I take every opportunity."
-Cameron Diaz

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
-J.K. Rowling

"The kind of beauty I want is the hard-to-get kind that comes from within--strength, courage, dignity."
-Ruby Dee

"My theory is that if you look confident, you can pull off anything--even if you have no clue what you are doing."
-Jessica Alba

"Often you just have to rely on your intuition."
-Bill Gates

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."
-Anonymous

"The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity."
-Zig Ziglar

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."
-Victor Frankl

Forming Impressions

This semester I am taking an Interpersonal Communication course. Based off of my first day of class, I am confident when I say it will more than likely be my favorite course of the semester. My professor for the course began the first day of class in much different way compared to the usual: "Hi, my name is..., let's take attendance, here's the syllabus, ok...see ya next class! routine."

Nope, this first day was unlike any other. My professor did something that I consider to be very out of the ordinary for the first day of class. She did politely introduced herself; however, after that she immediately instructed us to get into groups of four and come up with a list of words and ways that we would use to describe her. She specifically wanted us to put down personality traits, teaching style, hobbies, and anything else we saw fit in describing her.

After my group members introduced ourselves to each other, we began creating a list. I couldn't help but wonder that this particular exercise was about how quickly a person forms opinions about another person. We had about 5 minutes to create a list, then my professor made a massive list on the board before erasing all of the things that did not fit her. We were left with an idea of who she is as a person, what she likes to do, and how she chooses to teach.

She concluded by telling us that the moment we meet a person, we begin forming impressions about them without even realizing it. What was funny about that comment was that I was thinking the same exact thing as she sad it. I was surprised that it was not something I had ever thought about on my own. I'll admit, I am a judgemental person; however, I give every person more than one chance to make a positive impression on me so they have an opportunity to remove themselves from the category I automatically placed them in.

I found this whole concept to be rather interesting. I'm anxious to see how the semester unfolds and to see what type of an impression this particular professor makes on me the second, third, and fourth class periods because I have a feeling it will change. If she teaches in an interactive manner like she did on the very first day, I know this will be a truly enjoyable class for me.

Take a moment to think about this. What type of impression do you leave on those you meet? How quickly do you form impressions about others? Are the impressions you form positive, negative, or both? What can you do to ensure that you are consistently making a positive first impression?

Top 10 Moments of my First Day: Fall 2011

Today was my first day back on campus at UW-L. It was a bittersweet feeling returning to classes because I've had an incredible summer and am not quite ready for it to officially end. Luckily for me, my day was filled with moments that made me embrace my day. I think that this has been my best first day of any semester thus far. Below I have recapped my "top 10" moments of my day:

1. Finding a good parking spot. I commute to school and have to deal with parking every day, but today it was super easy.

2. Seeing a familiar face the second I walked on campus. It may not seem like that big of deal, but as I was making my way towards campus this morning I couldn't help but think back to that same moment last fall. That fall I was lonely and didn't have many friends because I was a transfer student and new to UW-L. Today, I literally reached the first block of campus and saw a familiar face. That continued all day which means UW-L feels like home to me even more than it did last semester.

3. Having my first class in the new building. For the last year, I watched as construction workers put in countless hours of work into a new classroom building. All I can say is that they did a fantastic job!

4. Beautiful weather. I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day to enjoy as I walked from class to class.

5. No statistics class! A year ago today I got to begin each of my days with a statistics class. Math is my least favorite topic so it was wonderful to not have to return to that same classroom this fall.

6. Lunch hour. I got into a little bit of trouble on my lunch hour. I met my friend, Ben, for lunch at my favorite bar. This of course was not the smartest idea, but now I can say that I did two shots in between my classes, and it was fun!

7. Riverside Park. After lunch, I was able to spend an hour walking around beautiful Riverside Park. I developed an even deeper appreciation for where I live and how gorgeous it is.

8. Mary Kay makeover with Kailin. My good friend, Kailin, and I went and got Mary Kay makeovers before my last class of the day. It was fun to be pampered and enjoy time with an amazing person.

9. Getting out of my 3 hour night class 2 hours early. This one is self-explanatory.

10. Feeling ready to take on the semester. This semester is going to more than likely be my most challenging semester yet. Not only are my classes going to be hard, but they are also going to be time consuming. I'm confident that I can find the balance I need to find between school, studying, work, my horses, sleep, and friends.