Working in Small Groups

In college, I have had the opportunity to work in groups. I think it is fair to say that I am not the only person who has had to do this. The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch has a short list of simple guidelines to follow when working in small groups. I found it useful, and I am sure that many others might find it useful as well.

1. Meet people properly

2. Find things you have in common

3. Try for optimal meeting conditions

4. Let everyone talk

5. Check egos at the door

6. Praise each other

7. Phrase alternatives as questions

It is a short and simple list. Hopefully many people begin to use it.

What I've Learned About Life in 22 Years

About three weeks ago, I celebrated my 22nd birthday. I have had a lot of life events occur recently that have made me realize that I have learned quite a bit about life in the last 22 years. In honor of my birthday, here is a list of 22 things I have learned. My list is slightly longer than 22 lessons, but these were my most favorite. Here is the list in no particular order. Except the first one definitely is my number one.

1. Life is better when your top priorities are: God, family, and friends.

2. Never regret. Chalk up all "mistakes" as a learning experience and be more careful next time.

3. Don't ever by afraid to start over. Embrace, cherish, and use your God-given talents.

4. "Love all, trust few, do wrong to no one." --Shakespeare

5. Be nice to everyone--always, no matter what. You never know what types of struggles or needs a person may have.

6. Don't complain. It only makes the situation that much worse and does not solve the problem.

7. Be early and show up to everything. This is your life.

8. People are capable of bad things; even people you know and trust.

9. Take risks and embrace the outcomes.

10. Every choice has a consequence--some positive, some negative. If it is negative, don't make the choice. Or, if you can't accept the consequence, don't make the choice.

11. People are going to let you down a lot in life. Don't be the one letting others down.

12. Life gets better. If you're young and reading this...trust me. It gets better.

13. Respect those who serve you.

14. When you find that one friend who knows ANYTHING and EVERYTHING about you and loves you anyways--hold onto them.

15. If you want friends, be a friend. Friendship is a two-way street.

16. Growing up is a privilege.

17. Don't give into peer pressure. You'll respect yourself a lot more later in life because you had the backbone to say "no."

18. If you don't want anyone to know...don't do it.

19. Asking for help is a sign of strength.

20. If a friend walks out when you've made a mistake they were not your friend to begin with.

21. Take care of yourself: get sleep, eat right, exercise, keep your mind and body healthy. We only have one shot at life. Live it healthy.

22. When we endure something tough, our character and self-esteem are strengthened.

Generosity in Small Portions Story #3

This last story I want to share took place two years ago during National FFA Convention during my year serving as a state FFA officer. Looking back, it is weird how the situation all turned out, but I will never forget how special an agricultural education instructor from Illinois made me feel.

This story has a somewhat awkward beginning. I was really upset with one of my teammates, and I think anyone who walked by could have observed some sort of confrontation happening. After my teammate walked away I was approached by a man who said, "You are quite the leader, you were not at all afraid to say what was on your mind." Immediately I was embarrassed by the fact that someone was observing the situation and tried to save face by explaining the scenario to the man. He simply raised his hand as if to silence me and then said, "So what kind of horses do you ride?" I was shocked and confused; I immediately asked him how he knew that I rode horses. He smiled and told me how horse riders always have a certain walk and stance and he can pick them out of any crowd.

We began to talk about where we were from, what brought us to National FFA Convention, and of course horses. Anyone who is willing to talk horses with me can hold my attention for any period of time. He ended the conversation by giving me his business card and told me to look at the back first. On the back of the card, it read: "Ask me about 'ROI' ... and the three A's." Of course, I asked him.

'ROI' stands for "rate of interest" and the three A's stand for "attitude, attitude, attitude." He told me how he begins each of his classes at the beginning of the quarter, semester, or year with a discussion about how he expects his students to continue to have a rate of interest in his classroom and that they better not ever have anything but a positive attitude in his classroom. That's a powerful message to students and I can imagine the bar is immediately set high in his classroom. He also told me how he never had someone guess what the A's stood for on the first try. This teacher had an impact on me in the ten minutes we conversed and made me feel special about the things I was saying about horses. He told me how horse people have such a good head on their shoulders and that they are the most patient people you will ever meet. At the time, I had intended to go into teaching and he told me that as long as I take my patience I have with my horses to the classroom and always have a positive attitude, I'll be very successful educating young minds.

Afterwards, he bought me lunch. If you've ever been to National FFA Convention, you know the the food prices inside Conseco Field House are very high. This act made his impact on me even larger. Who can forget a complete stranger who buys you lunch? I'll never forget our conversation and the continual compliments he provided me with. Looking back, I often wonder if he was just saying things to make me feel good about myself or if I really was the first person to guess what the three A's on the back of his card stood for. Then I think about how it is a valuable lesson for anyone to boost a person's confidence at any given moment; moments like that are precious and priceless--we should all strive to do this for someone each and every day. And you know what? He did make me feel good about myself.

His generosity was small. His impact was big. I will never forget this agricultural education teacher from Illinois.

Generosity in Small Portions Story #2

I have been working at a hotel as a housekeeper for the past five years. The job has always been very enjoyable because of my co-workers, hotel guests, and the fact that there is always cleaning to be done (which makes the day go by really fast). Every once in a while, something really great happens while I am at work.

In the summer of 2007, I met a hotel guest who was a driver for a bus company; his name was Glen. We chatted as I cleaned his room one day about my future, his future, my life, his life, his grandchildren, and his passion for life. Glen is an incredibly special man. He told me about how he survived not one, not two, but three severe heart attacks. The doctors never thought he would make it through his first bypass surgery, but he has made it through three. He told me about how the doctors considered him a living miracle. I got to know Glen pretty well over this four night stay and we talked about everything from the importance of having a strong faith, to loving animals, and making family and friends a priority in life. He truly lived each day as a gift it truly is and told me his reason for staying healthy was so he could be there to watch his grandson grow up. When we met, he had not had a heart attack in over three years.

Unfortunately, I was out of the town the day he was scheduled to leave. When I came into work two days later, there was a card in my locker where I keep my things. I opened it to find a thoughtful thank you from Glen. He thanked me for our conversations, told me how I am a great asset to the hotel, and how I was just another one of God's gifts he had found. He ended up leaving me with money to put towards school--something incredibly generous of him. His card was unexpected, thoughtful, and kind. Glen impacted me. He crosses my mind from time to time because of the person he is and the qualities he possesses. Glen taught me that we are all living miracles and to live each day like it is your last.

His generosity was small. His impact was big. I will never forget Glen.

Generosity in Small Portions Story #1

It has been quite a while since I last blogged which is embarrassing to admit. I randomly think of blog topics and write them down, but am yet to do any writing on these topics. One topic that I have numerous stories to share about is that of generosity in small portions. Over the next few days, weeks, and hopefully not months, I want to share these stories with you.

What I mean by "generosity in small portions" is:

What is one act the you have down for a person or a person has done for you that has been so small, but yet so big all at the same time?

I have been really lucky to experience this more than once in my life.

In September 2007, my life made a huge change. I was a freshmen in college at the University of Wisconsin-River Falls. Not only was I away from home, at a new school, starting a new phase in my life, but I also had a new job. Seems insignificant to all the other changes in my life, right? I spent the summer working at Wal-Mart close to home before I made my move into the dorms. Luckily, I was able transfer to a Wal-Mart close to school and work on the weekends. At the time, I was thankful to have a job immediately because it was going to save me the effort of searching along with hundreds of other students.

There has never been a job that I have despised as much as I despised this one in my life. This was definitely not even close to being my first job since I had been working at farms since I was in seventh grade. My co-workers were not friendly, I disliked the hours I worked, the job prevented me from going home on the weekends to see my family, and I felt that only 10% of the customers were nice (and no, I am not exaggerating). As a result, the days were long and the pay checks never felt worth it.

On my third weekend of working there, a lady came to my check out lane. She was purchasing a lot of snacks as well as my most favorite candy in the world: Milk Duds. I made a comment about how Milk Duds were my favorite candy. She then told me how her daughter had just started her freshmen year of college in Madison and asked if I was in school. I told her how I was in the same boat as her daughter and had just started myself. She explained to me how she missed her daughter and that she had planned to send her a care package because she was feeling homesick. We talked quite a bit about how I was feeling with college, being away from home, and how I missed my mom for nearly 10 minutes because I had no line of customers at the time. Once she left, I did not think much of the situation, other than the fact that I was thankful to have experienced a kind and caring customer that early in my day.

Nearly four hours later, the store was swamped with customers and it became quite the routine of greeting, sliding purchases across the scanner, and making change for customers. I looked up to greet the next customer in line during an hour rush and it was the woman I chatted with earlier. She was purchasing one box of Milk Duds and I joked and said, "Didn't you buy enough the first time through?" She simply smiled at me and said, "No" as she paid for her purchase. She grabbed the Milk Duds and handed them right back to me and said, "These are for you, I hope you enjoy them." I was so shocked by her act of generosity that I nearly started crying. She told me she appreciated our conversation earlier and could not stop thinking about me as her day carried on. All I could muster to say to her was, "Thank you, I cannot tell you how much it means to me that you did this."

Her generosity was small. Her impact was big. I will never forget what she did for me that day.