Fear

Tonight I had a chapter banquet to attend. Part of my speech talked about how many people live their lives in fear and how we need to look at each opportunity with the attitude that something good could happen instead of something bad that could happen. On my way back home I started to think about fear. What are you afraid of?

Some people are afraid of typical things like small spaces, darkness, spiders, heights, etc. Not me. I'm afraid of failing. I'm afraid of success. I'm afraid that I will live a life of loneliness. I admit, I can be somewhat materialistic and there are a lot of things I feel that I not only want, but need, even though I really do not. Despite that, there are 3 things that I hope to have in life and they are really quite simple:

1. Get married
2. Have 2 (maybe 3) kids
3. Be happy in the things I do

Ultimately, I feel that if I have a person that will put up with me and love me for me no matter what, I'll be happy to have them by my side forever. Kids would bring an even bigger purpose to my life and being a mom seems so fulfilling and selfless. As of now, I'm okay with not being a mom for a few years yet; but I know it will be amazing when it happens. It would be incredible to know what it feels like to care about another human being more than I care about myself; I feel that a child would fulfill that feeling. Lastly, I want to live a happy life. Who doesn't? I want to feel satisfaction from my career, the things I am involved with and be happy with my family. These things really are quite simple and I feel that if I have these 3 things in life--I will have all I need.